*📰Mudzimba With Mai Chisamba* Follow the Chaminukanews24.com channel on WhatsApp: https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VaAiZu0HQbS0w1lUez3v *Is lying to your lover wrong?* DEAR Amai, I hope I find you well. I am 30 years old and I am already a father of five children with three different women. All my kids stay with their mothers. I really do not know how to carry on with my love life because every woman I talk to backs down and does not want to see me again. The reason is I have too many kids. I did not do well in school, but I am a hard worker. I earn my living through piece jobs. I am very popular with ladies. I recently fell in love with a beautiful lady, but I do not want her to know about my children yet. I have not even introduced her to my friends because she may be told about my history. Amai, I am confused. Please help me map a way forward. Response Dear writer, I am very well and thank you very much for reaching out to me. I will be quick to point out that you are in the wrong lane. Having five children at 30 while unmarried is very irresponsible. I wonder why you continue to bring unplanned children into the world. This is not right. There is no way you can succeed in hiding or pretending that these kids do not exist. This is something that you are going to live with for the rest of your life. If you want to have a respectable relationship with your new girlfriend, please come clean and tell her the truth. It is a small world and before you know it, someone would have told her everything. It is better to own up now than to be exposed later. The economy is very harsh and many women are against the idea of starting married life with a big, blended family. In all honesty, you are not a viable dating prospect to them. Finally, learning does not end. Aspire to improve yourself. A little effort goes a long way. You may even try to acquire new sought-after practical skills. ****************** *Maiguru is meddling in my marriage* Hello Amai. I am a married woman and a mother of two girls. I am aged 37 and my husband is six months my junior, but he does not find any fault with this. Before we got married, I heard that he dated maiguru’s sister for quite some time. When I became his bride, my sister-in-law did not welcome me with open arms because, to her, it was like I had displaced her sibling. We have never had a confrontation, but there is bad blood between us. She tells whoever cares to listen that my hubby married a chembere. My mother-in-law is generally a very good person, but I was surprised last week when she asked me about something that she had heard from my sister-in-law. I cannot reveal what she asked in a national newspaper, but I am sure you are seeing the gravity of the matter. My husband is very supportive and he has advised me to keep quiet. He finally admitted that it was maiguru who caused the breakup between him and his ex. I am very angry. I feel like confronting her. Please help. Response Hello and thanks for writing in. From my perspective, it seems you generally get on well with your husband and other members of the family at large. Those relationships are very important. It appears your sister-in-law and mother-in-law occasionally engage in gossip. Always remember that it takes two to tango and they may be birds of the same feather. Keep a watchful eye. I support your hubby’s advice: silence is golden and will not be misquoted. Please do not dignify their gossip by responding. Time will tell who is right or wrong. Do not stress yourself; enjoy your marriage and family. Be the bigger person. ****************** *Youth pastor is after my girlfriend* I am a single guy aged 23 and I am in the youth guild at our church. I am very committed to church activities. Our youth pastor is single as well. It seems we are chasing the same girl. This girl said yes to me first, but now she is dodgy, especially when this guy is around. I asked her if what I am seeing and feeling is a cause for concern. She responded very rudely. She said she belongs to no one since she is not legally married to anyone. Amai, I have never fought for a woman, but if she breaks my heart, I am afraid I may not be able to control myself. I am considering leaving this church altogether. Please help. I cannot think straight. Response Greetings, young writer. I strongly urge you to take it easy. You are not thinking straight, as you rightfully say, because you are failing to separate love and your involvement in church. These are two different spheres that need to be appreciated separately. If I were in your shoes, I would sit back and see who the girl decides to be with in the long run. Fighting for someone to love you is embarrassing; it must be their choice. Even if you do not win the girl, there is no need to quit the church. Life goes on. Please give her time to decide. I would have loved to have a word or two with the pastor; unfortunately, he is not the one who wrote to me. I think he seriously needs to respect and set boundaries with his congregants to avoid scenarios like this. I would be happy to hear from you again. Feedback: beckychisamba @gmail.com