`MARRIEDS' TREASURE TROVE` _Peace and Harmony in a home: meeting his needs and her needs_ *READING:* *"And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."* •Joshua 24:15 *RESOURCE:* Family life is the best method for achieving happiness in this world, and it is a clear pattern given to us from the Lord about what is to be in the next world. *~Spencer W. Kimbal* *REASONING:* The desire of every Christian couple should be to serve God with their entire household. However, there are many frictions [strife and contention] in the family that may want to hinder this, and, they have been found to be around *a singular cause: misinterpretation of needs.* In a book published in 1994 by Thomas Nelson Publishers, titled `"From Bad Beginning to Happy Endings."` _•Dr Willard Harley, a Massachusetts psychologist,_ surveyed the basic needs of men and women in marriage and found that the needs are completely different. If this be true, which in reality it is, therefore then, it becomes obvious that if you give your spouse what you [think they need], and hoping to receive the same in return, you will miss the mark completely every time. This mainly seems to be the basis for [all strife and contentions] in the family. Therefore, instead of just giving what you think your spouse needs, we must 🔥Fire Proof our marriages by striving to give what our partners need.🔥 The question then is, how do you know the needs of your spouse? Yes, most of the times, the actual needs of your spouse go beyond verbal request. According to Dr. Harley's survey, he gave five top most needs of both partners in marriage. First and foremost we shall discuss *a woman's five top most needs* in family. *1. Affection* Your wife always wants to have that positive feeling of being; ¹LOVED, ²CHERISHED and ³VALUED. This is necessary for you to observe at all time. Even when there is any issue to deal with, the way you handle it must not in anyway affect her assurance of your love for her. The weight of whatever else you give your wife depends on this assurance of your affection for her. Give a woman gold, without being sure of your love for her, you are not safe in that relationship. Give her just an ordinary stone with her being 100% sure of love, that stone [becomes] worth twice as gold. That is the very first step in family. •Genesis 2:23-24 *"And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."* > The name and treatment you give your wife streams from this. She wants to be seen, not as someone brought from somewhere, on whom you paid a lot on before she was released to you, no. But rather as one that is part of yourself. Therefore, whatever you spend on yourself cannot be a subject of reference and reproach. *2. Communication* An average woman speaks *20,000 words* in a day; 600,000 words in a month; and *7,200,000 words* in a year. This [should] tell you how serious and important communication is to a woman. Some men complain that their wives speak to outsiders much, the point is, how available are you to be spoken with? If you don't want her to speak to outsiders, *which truly is better and safer,* you need to help her by making yourself available for communication at home. ~If Eve had not spoken to an outsider in the person of Satan conceived inside the snake,~ we wouldn't have been in this mess today. But then, Adam was not available. Communication is dear to your wife, a need that must be melt. When Abigail went in to speak with Nabal her husband about his mistake in failing to give David's men some food, that man was not available, though at home but drunk. He was not in the right frame of mind for such serious and life saving discussion. > Of course, you know the end of the story. Nabal died, Abigail became David's wife. Likewise some men, though at home, but he's really not available to be talked with. It is either he brings his office home or glued to his phone or newspaper. *3. Openness/Honesty* Every woman likes transparency. Most women wrongfully go into marital unfaithful to revenge on their husbands. There is no room to justify this anyway; two wrongs can never make a right. However, the issue is, it depends much on your openness and honesty as the husband. It is a major need of every woman in marriage. Carry her along and be open in all that you do, especially as it affects the family. *4. Financial Support* Bible says in •1 Timothy 5:8, *"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."* > This is a verse every woman knows very well, even those outside the Church. It doesn't matter whether your pastor quotes it every Sunday or once in a blue moon. Your wife is looking towards your hands. You must be ready in full capacity to shoulder the financial responsibilities in the family. *No hiding place in this, you must be at the forefront. It is my prayer that, as husbands, we shall not lack that which is needed to take good care of our families.* In Jesus name. Amen! *5. Family Commitment* The last of the five top most needs of a woman is your commitment as the head of that family to the family. Nothing should be left in the hands of the woman without prior agreement between the two of you, and conscious acceptance from her to handle it. •Genesis 2:24, _"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."_ > There is a notion common and much accepted by all but which is opposite of what Bible says. It is the man not the woman that the Bible says should leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife. *But mostly we request this from the woman than the man.* As a man you must leave whatever it is that needs [to be left] so in order to be committed to your family. We rest on this today as we pray and ponder on the issues raised by the Spirit of the Lord. Tomorrow we shall continue with the five top most needs of the husband. It is my prayer that God will bless His Words in our hearts and make our homes heaven on earth in Jesus name. See you again tomorrow. Remained blessed. *REQUEST:* Oh Lord by Your grace, me and my house shall serve You. *BIBLE THROUGH THE YEAR* Leviticus 11 - 13. `COPIED-` •Pr. Dr. Great Olalekan Martins _Word & Life Christian Ministry_