*Shezana’s Diary* *Garments for Each Other ©* *Friday , February 21, 2025* Bismillah. It's five days but it feels like just yesterday I was sitting on my musalla, writing down my Ramadan goals, planning how to make this year the most spiritually fulfilling one yet. And now—just nine days left. SubhanAllah. My heart flutters at the thought. There’s something about Ramadan that makes me feel alive in a way nothing else does. The world slows down, distractions fade, and suddenly, it’s just me and my Rabb. The air changes, the atmosphere shifts—it’s as though the doors of mercy are already opening, waiting to welcome us. I will spend part of today revisiting my goals, making sure they’re not just words on a page but an actual plan in motion. Ten Juz a day. 1000 salawaat daily. Maximum du‘a at Suhoor and Iftar. No idle talk. No unnecessary distractions. It sounds ambitious, but I want to push myself this year. There’s no guarantee of another Ramadan. I have to work on time management. There are so many Pre Ramadan workshops, in sha Allah, I will attend those too. I went to the kitchen earlier, checking the pantry, making mental notes of what needs to be stocked before the rush begins. I want to prepare as much as I can beforehand so I don’t get caught up in the little things when the blessed days arrive. I want my days to be filled with Qur’an, dhikr, and reflection—not standing in the kitchen for hours worrying about iftar. Alhamdulillah, things at home feel normal now. Ammi and Abbu are okay, carrying on as if the past few weeks of proposals and decisions never happened. I think they’re just relieved I made my choice with clarity. Ammi, especially, looks lighter—maybe because she was afraid I’d feel pressured, or that my decision wouldn’t be fully mine. But now, it’s behind us. A closed chapter. And that’s okay. Still, I can’t help but reflect on why marriage feels like such an urgent expectation, especially for women. Society puts so much pressure on us—questions, unsolicited advice, opinions that nobody asked for. "Oh, but don’t wait too long." "A girl should marry when the right proposal comes, not when she feels like it." "You’re lucky you’re still receiving proposals at your age." The weight of these words sits heavily on my shoulders sometimes. But Apa always tells me, “Marriage is not a race. It’s not just about finding someone, it’s about being ready—emotionally, mentally, spiritually.” And she’s right. It’s one thing to want to get married, and another to actually be prepared for what it means. The responsibility, the compromise, the patience. Marriage is not just a fairytale; it’s a test of character, of endurance, of Tawakkul. And if I’m being honest with myself, I know I still have so much growth to do before I step into that chapter of my life. Maybe that’s why Ramadan feels so important this year. Maybe it’s Allah’s way of giving me the space to focus inward, to strengthen my heart before I worry about anything else. A gift. A reset. I still have *Surah Ahzaab* to finish writing. It’s long, but each word feels like a step toward something greater. I don’t know when my qismat will unfold, but I do know that Allah’s timing is always perfect. So for now, I will pour my heart into preparing for Ramadan, into becoming the best version of myself—not for anyone else, but for my Rabb. Because when the time is right, everything will fall into place. And inshaAllah, I will be ready. Love Shezana