Hi whispers good morning Banaye l need someone to talk to before I commit suicide 😞 I have a question y are men so bad like worse than evil it's self l feel tramatized, depressed and hatred towards them walai And even scared of my brothers, friends who are males right now l feel un safe with them am an introvert so l don't even want to tell my mom about what happened to me she might get an attack 🥲 and l locked myself in my room for 3days now not talking to anyone . I just wakeup go wash up eat then lock myself in the room. The thing is there is this one guy we have been in a relationship for like 2years now but as friends it was 3 months back when he confessed to me about his feelings l felt bad coz l knew from the beginning about it and l just brushed it off. Coz to my side l grew up knowing men are scums and I have been avoiding anything concerning relationships l make sure either we are friends or nothing. So munaye l tried to loosen up a bit so dat l give him a chance and l see how it goes and the other reason was to stop my friends from thinking dat l maybe a Lesi. So l give the guy a chance at first thing where fine until the day he told me that he wanted to have s3x with me l refused, telling him am not ready for it since am a Muslim l think it's better for sure stuff after marriage or something in order to avoid any accidents. So he took it cool but didn't stop and tried to convince me telling dat relationships are like dat and it's absolutely normal. I didn't take it dat serious tho munaye after that day the guy started acting weird at first l didn't take it to heart coz l myself wasn't into it dat deep. He used to come pick me up from home we go on outings then bring me back. I decided to introduce him to my mom so dat l don't hide anything from her so they jazzed coz they are both* Rwandies* if it's the right word so they became good friends. Not to lie but after dat day mom researched about him just to be on the safe side. His back ground is not dat bad and the guy cooperated with her so well . So munaye we continued with our dating but he started becoming nonchalant always acting busy and fixed we could spend days without chatting then out of the blue he comes back claiming how he misses me so bad and wants to be with me all the time. I tried to blame him about his actions but he could always find a way to calm me down. Anyway he continued like dat and I decided to give him space since am not much of a talker. After some time like 4 days l couldn't take it anymore so l called him ,he told me to give him 30min coz he was busy and he will call me after dat. l was very patient and I waited ,he called after the 30min, l told him l couldn't handle his behavior and l was done with him. He didn't answer and just switched off the phone , l didn't care coz l was also fdup wiz him. Any way the reason y I feel like committing suicide is that about 3 days back he called me telling me that he needed someone to talk to and it was me l felt sorry thinking it was something very important. So l agreed he came home and picked me up be4 dat he met with my uncle telling him dat we might come back late so my uncle told him to take care of me. They jazzed and also gave my siblings some stuffs while enjoying themselves my heart melted at the scene coz my family is my soft spot. Munaye nga we leave on the way he tried to create a jazz . It wasn't bad l congratulated him on his new car these brand new models with new numbers plates. So he went to CJ bought my favorites and we continued with our journey we went somewhere quiet and had a lake view. "Those are my favorite places and near water it's perfect " he knew it dats y he brought me there. I watched the sunset but nigga wasn't saying anything or whatsoever. He claimed that he liked to see me like this .l didn't care ,coz l was used of his flattering . He asked me why I broke up with him l gave my reasons and he said he didn't agree with it dat l should not test him .l got annoyed coz he didn't take me seriously so l demanded to go home. Out of nowhere the guy grabbed me saying his desire for me was much and he couldn't handle it so he rapped me he didn't care whether it was my first time .chief things were painful l tried to fight but nothing we went for two hours straight. He then cleaned me up and told me home . Just ran to my room coz the whole thing was like a dream . He talked to my mom dat he wanted to marry me and this Sunday he will be coming with his dad. Admin l think this guy is a monster or something coz wtf..... l rather die than marrying him .mom tried to talk to me about it but I just locked myself in the room until now