*EP 18* Joe’s life crumbled as he lost the energy to keep going. He resigned from work and slept in the hospital. Helen tried her best to help with the food and change of clothes, but he still didn’t speak to her, and Helen only worried that they might lose him before Deb. Abel prayed. To him, there was no way out for Deb. Sara didn’t survive, Matilda too. The chance that Deb would survive was nearly impossible. So he prayed for Joe, that he wouldn’t get swallowed up. Abel’s heart ached. It was hard for him getting over his wife’s death, and he knew it was hard for Joe too. And just when Joe was getting his feet rooted in God, he lost his wife too. And now, his daughter. He slowly inhaled. “Good Lord, I don’t know what you’re doing, but I know it’s hard on Josiah. It’s really hard and he can barely keep up. Please help him, strengthen him.” Martha was down too. Her beloved niece was going to die of the same illness that killed her sister. She had hoped that Deb would grow into someone like Martha, but her hopes were being crushed. “The doctor said it can be managed.” Helen assured her. But the reality of her sister’s death made it difficult to believe. The sickness pulled her sister down in a few months. Deb’s smile was still intact, but she had grown lean. She was withdrawn from school as she had to go to hospital often. And she became accustomed to using oxygen tanks and taking medication regularly. Sadly, Deb’s health continued to decline as the efforts to manage her condition yielded no result, and the family’s hopes began to dwindle. As the days went by, Joe’s condition worsened, and he became increasingly withdrawn. Helen tried to care for him, but he pushed her away, consumed by grief and despair. Abel’s prayers seemed to be the only thing holding Joe together, but even those seemed to be losing their effectiveness as he barely spoke to him too. He only sat by Deb, his eyes sunken, saying nothing. Helen seemed strong, but her inside were all crumbled. She wanted to reach out for Deb, to lay her hands and pray on her, but Joe wouldn’t leave her side, and she dared not come close except to help change Deb’s clothes. Joe had made it clear that she was her nanny and nothing else, and she had no choice than to stick to that. Her heart broke whenever Deb called for her, “Mama.” And all she’d be able to do is smile. Martha seemed dejected, same as Abel, whose mind was on his son. And she tried much to assure both of them. She had faith that Deb would survive it, probably because she had not lost someone to COPD before. She had suggested to Abel and Martha to join their faith to fast and pray, but they were too dispirited to succumb. So she prayed all by herself. “Lord, please give my baby new lungs. Please.” But her faith began to dwindle as Deb began having seizures cause her brain wasn’t getting enough energy. The other morning, as Helen was helping Deb with her medication, Deb’s eyes suddenly turned over, and she slumped forward. Helen tried to catch her, but Deb’s body shook violently, her arms and legs twitching uncontrollably. “Deb, Deb, can you hear me?” Helen cried, panic rising in her voice. But Deb didn’t respond, her body wracking by the seizure. Joe quickly grabbed a pillow and gently placed it under Deb’s head, trying to protect her from injuring herself. He pinned her down while Helen rushed to call for help, after pressing the emergency button on Deb’s hospital bed. The medical team rushed in, quickly assessing Deb’s condition and stopping the seizure. The repeated occurrences of seizure threatened to break down the walls of Helen’s faith. She had been so sure that God would heal Deb, but now it seemed like that might not be the case. She felt like she was losing her grip on hope, and she didn’t know how much more she could take. She had always believed that God was good, that He loved little children and wanted to heal them. But now, as she looked at Deb’s fragile form, she couldn’t help but wonder if that was really true. And though she still prayed, her heart was filled with doubt and fears. She began having dreams about Deb not making it, and she would wake up crying. Joe wasn’t any better. He swore to himself that he would end his life of Deb dies. ….