Many of the religious brothers and sisters are committing errors when they prepare to get married. They do not care about personalities, compatibilities and character of the intending partners. They are very quick to fall for 'dress code', rather than considering the person wearing the beard, hijab, Khimar and niqab. The appearance is not the same as the person. If we do not want to change men or women like clothes, we must invest in a proper process before marriage. It is a good thing to carry Islamic apparel and appreance, it will make you unique. But when it comes to relationship and marriage, you need to go further to know the person wearing the appearance through a thorough background check. This is very important to our teaming sisters, religious people can also make terrible mistakes when choosing partners. 'I want to marry him because of his Deen', that is very good, the religious consideration should top the list, but there are other factors. This is because the person you want to marry is not like the Deen, you are getting married to human, so he has his shortcomings, that he wears beards does not say he can't get angry or disappoint you, that is why all marriage seekers must invest in thorough background check. Our dress code is our logo, but that is not our character, remember, our beloved Prophet (saw) was described with examplary character, so this is what you should look for in a partner, not appearance. I have always maintained that people can be praying five times daily and they're still not practicing Muslims. If you have the opportunity to listen to some horrible stories coming from our ma sha sisters and what they have gone through in the hands of some brothers, you will feel bad, though, these sisters are to be blamed because they fail to differentiate between religiousity and compatibility. Obviously, religious people without character will treat you like a slave. Considering the true character is paramount, you do not get know it by what people say of themselves, you get to know it through what you are able to find out, character is more than what we notice about a person from the outside, it is who they are even when no one is watching. We have taught this in the relationship and marriage class, we have to know that when we want to work on a relationship, it is better to focus on ourselves first, this will help us to understand our needs and wants before selecting a partner, unfortunately so many people want to fix and change the other person. Do not just marry beards, Khimar or Niqab, rather marry the person that wears them. Always pay attention to details. Abu Sheikh