*CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE* It was a sunny morning, the kind that slipped in through the curtains gently, painting the apartment in soft gold. Tamar stretched lazily on the couch, feeling the stiffness in her shoulders. Manda was propped up beside her, looking much better, color returning to her cheeks. Blake sat cross-legged on the floor, flipping through one of Elian’s books absentmindedly. The place had become a second home for Elian and a few of his belongings. Even thought it been barely a week since they all met him. Yet, they’ve become accustomed to his presence, his assuring and peaceful presence. Elian came out of the kitchen with a steaming mug. “I was thinking…” he began casually, handing the mug to Tamar. She raised an eyebrow, accepting it. “Uh oh.” He grinned. “Don’t look so suspicious. I was just wondering if you guys wanted to come with me this morning.” Blake looked up. “Where?” “To church.” "But today's not Sunday." Manda frowned, confused. "We don't worship only on Sundays." There was a brief pause. Tamar glanced at Manda, then back at Elian. “Elian, I—” “It’s not what you’re thinking,” Elian said quickly, lifting his hands. “No stiff pews or formal robes. No fancy show or judgment. Just… a bunch of people, in a cozy space, trying to figure out life together.” Blake snorted softly. “You mean, like, sofas and guitars instead of pews and organs?” Elian laughed. “Pretty much, yeah.” Manda’s eyes lit up, her voice soft but eager. “Can we go, Tamar? Please?” Tamar hesitated. Her heart thudded uneasily. Church meant… memories. Church meant God. And though she was slowly recognizing God, she didn’t know if she was truly ready. Elian’s voice broke into her thoughts. “No pressure, Tamar. I just thought… maybe it would be nice for us all to at least leave the house.” She swallowed hard. Manda’s small hand slipped into hers. “Please, Tamar?” Tamar shot her a glance. “Thought you said you’d never step for on a church.” “I was referring to a place filled with pews.” Manda grinned. Tamar closed her eyes for a moment. Then let out a slow breath. “Okay. Let’s go.” The church wasn’t what Tamar expected at all. The building looked like an old coffeehouse from the outside, with a wide porch and potted plants lined along the steps. Inside, the air smelled like brewed coffee and vanilla. Instead of rows of stiff pews, there were mismatched sofas, armchairs, and even beanbags scattered across the room, more soothing than Elian had described. The walls were painted with warm earth tones, and soft string lights hung overhead. Manda clung to Tamar’s side, eyes wide. Blake wandered slowly, taking everything in, while Elian greeted a few people, smiling warmly. “Hey, come meet the pastor,” Elian said, waving them over. The pastor wasn’t dressed up at all. He wore just denim trousers, a navy sweater, and sneakers. He had kind eyes and a scruffy beard. “You must be Tamar,” he said gently, offering his hand. “And Manda. And Blake. I’m Joel. Elian wouldn’t stop talking about his newly-found family.” Tamar shook his hand shyly. “Hi.” “We’re really glad you’re here,” Joel said with a smile that felt disarmingly genuine. “Make yourselves comfortable, okay? There’s no pressure here. Just… come as you are.” Manda tugged Tamar’s sleeve. “Can we sit on the beanbags?” Tamar gave a small laugh. “Sure, baby.” They settled onto the soft beanbags near the front. Blake flopped onto a big armchair, his arms crossed but his face curious. The service began… not with solemn hymns, but with soft acoustic guitar and voices lifted gently. People clapped or closed their eyes, some raising hands, some just swaying softly. Tamar felt something loosen in her chest, like a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. Then after a long moment of worship, Joel got up to speak. He opened his Bible casually, smiling at the crowd. “We’re going to sit with Psalm 23 today. Maybe you’ve heard it before. ‘The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.’” His voice was warm, gentle. “But let’s slow down today. Let’s feel it.” Tamar felt herself leaning forward, her hands clasped tightly. Joel continued, “Having a shepherd means you’re not wandering alone. It means someone’s looking out for you. Even when you don’t see Him, even when you doubt. Even when you’re tired or broken.” Tamar’s throat tightened. Her fingers trembled. Joel’s eyes scanned the room. “Some of you feel like you’ve been in the valley of the shadow of death. Maybe you’re walking through it right now. Maybe you’re exhausted, carrying things you were never meant to carry. But here, like David, you can proclaim ‘the Lord is my shepherd’” Joel smiled gently. “Listen, he said ‘Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.’ Not just on the good days. Not just when you feel worthy. All the days.” A tear escaped Tamar’s eye and she quickly wiped it. Beside her, Manda whispered softly, “Tamar… are you okay?” Tamar let out a shaky breath, wiping her face. She gave Manda a watery smile. “Yeah, baby. I’m okay.” Elian, sitting nearby, gave her a small, encouraging glance. Joel’s voice softened. “Some of you here today need to say it out loud: ‘The Lord is my shepherd.’ Not because you feel strong. But because you’re finally ready to let Him be strong for you.” Tamar’s lips parted, her chest tightening. She whispered, so quietly she almost didn’t hear herself, “The Lord is my shepherd.” Her voice broke on the last word, tears streaming down her cheeks. Elian reached over gently, squeezing her hand without a word. Blake watched her, something changing in his usually guarded expression. Manda leaned her head against Tamar’s shoulder, wrapping small arms around her. Tamar closed her eyes, letting the tears fall freely now, the words still trembling on her lips. _The Lord is my shepherd. I am not alone._ Blake mind was beginning to wander when he heard something that struck him. “…even the ones who have learned how to survive without expecting anyone to stay,” Joel said softly. “For the ones who had to grow up too fast. Who had to pretend they were Fine, even when everything inside felt like it was falling apart.” Blake’s posture stiffened slightly, his jaw tightening. _“Did Elian tell the Pastor things about him?_ Joel’s voice didn’t falter. “Maybe you were left. Maybe you were forgotten. Maybe people promised to be there and walked away anyway. And you started to believe that love always leaves. That people always leave.” Blake stared at him, unmoving, his fingers clenching the edge of the chair. Manda too. She was fixed on his words, her heart opening. “But I want you to hear something today,” Joel said, stepping down from the platform a little, not in a dramatic way, but just quietly drawing near. “There is One who never leaves. One who never forgets. One who doesn’t get tired of you. He saw you then. He sees you now. One who doesn’t leave when you mess things up.” “You don’t have to be strong all the time,” Joel continued gently. “You don’t have to carry the weight alone. There’s a Shepherd who walks into the lonely places and says, ‘I’ve got you. You’re not forgotten. You were never invisible to Me.’” Joel stepped back, giving the moment space. “For anyone who’s ever felt like they had to be their own protector… today you’re invited to rest. Not because everything’s perfect. But because you don’t have to protect yourself anymore. There’s Someone who already is. The Shepherd himself.” Blake’s shoulders dropped, just slightly. He stared ahead, unmoving, but something in his face had softened. He glanced at Manda and noticed she quickly wiped a tear. The room stayed quiet for a while after Joel stopped speaking, no one rushing to break the silence. Then softly, the worship team began to play again. Not loud. Just tender chords on a guitar, and a sweet voice singing something simple about rest and home and mercy. Elian still hadn’t spoken, but he gently rested a hand on Blake’s shoulder, brief and wordless. Blake didn’t shrug it off. He just sat there, his head slowly bowing, eyes closed. Manda’s arms were around Tamar, giving comfort while her heart calmed. _”The Lord is my shepherd.”_ She murmured. _”He is our Shepherd…”_ …