*Mother of Life* *Part 3* *_By Timmy Turner_* As the bus approaches the City of Gweru my heart beat suddenly goes from normal to abnormal speed, pounding as if it will eventually pop out through my throat and mouth, I don't even know if that's possible but that's just how it is right now or maybe it's because I have two heartbeats in me now, no but it's still a foetus so it can't be that fast. It's just me and my anxiety. Trevor loves me, or at least I think he does. He shows me how much he loves me, he spoils me, always tells me I'm beautiful and how special I am. He even hinted on a future with him. I sometimes fantasize on the day I walk into the room with his uncles and my father and uncles and my father asking me if I know these people who've come to pay lobola for me. I always wonder how it will go but now that I got future cooking up in my belly that picture has been blurry these past hours. I guess I will cross that bridge when I get to it. For now let me focus on convincing Trevor that I'm just here to pay him a visit. Fortunate enough, Trevor also stays alone in a cottage he rents out near the college. This was meant to be a place for him to stay during the college semester and then he goes home during the holidays but he is never home. I always wonder why because he and his mother are so fond of each other I'm always jealous and wonder if she'll ever accept me and now that I unconventionally have her first grandchild in my womb that subject makes my heart pound even more faster I wonder if I'll make it to Gweru without having suffered from heart failure or something. As the taxi pulled over at the compound in which Trevor stays in, my heart suddenly began beating three times faster than it was on during the long bus ride. At that moment those questions I had during the experience I had where I saw the other side of my father I'd never seen before came back to mind. What am I doing here? How and when did I get here? What exactly is happening to me? One would swear I'd been bewitched but at the same time this is me blaming my mistakes on witchcraft. As I was contemplating on these and many other thoughts the sound of a breaking glass brought me back to life. At that moment the realization that anyone might walk out of the compound or a passerby might show up and see the mess I am got me to finally decide to put on my big girl boots and face the music. My hand trembled as I knocked on Trevor's room, something that had never happened before. The confidence I had each time I walked into this compound and the state I was in at this moment where to totally abstract things that one could easily notice. Lucky for me, Mrs Manyere, Trevor's landlord who spends her days sitting on her veranda with a bowl of biscuits pretending to be focused on a book but looking at and judging everyone who passes by the road infront of the compound and those of us that visit her tenants was not there that day. That made my walk of shame a little bit easier. "I'm coming, I'm coming." Trevor shouted as my knocks got louder. It was his habit to delay opening the door and then shout 'im coming' repeatedly. I always wonder why he does that but anyway for today it is a comfort to me because it's a sign that he is here, something I worried about since I decided to show up unannounced. "Babe!?" He shouted in awe after he saw me on the other side of the door. I did not know what to do or say so all I did was to throw myself into his arms, the arms that often had a way of comforting me coupled with the scent of his cologne and just the thought of being with him. Tears begun to stream down my face after he asked me what's wrong and the best lie that I could come up with was " I missed you sweetheart". "Good morning sunshine". These were the first words I heard as I was taken out of my misery the following morning. I had woken up to an empty bedside and wondered where had this man went to so early in the morning. Apparently he had also been filled in on this breakfast in bed thing and how it makes your woman's day have a great start and here I was with a huge colgate smile that I could not control wondering were on earth my old fashioned boyfriend was and who was this guy with a tray of nice smelling scrambled eggs with two slices of bread, baked beans in mayonnaise just the way I like them and one Vienna and a glass of grape juice also dressed in his jogger shorts and an apron. "Bon appetit my love". He said as he gentle placed the tray filled with those delicacies on my laps and kissed me on my chick. He knew I was never comfortable with kissing soon after waking up, I believed one had to first brush their teeth then indulge, hygiene... "Who are you and what have you done to Trevor Chigudu?" I said as I gazed at the sight before me. The tray on my laps and my handsome boyfriend dressed in his jogger shorts and an apron. "Well my dear, it is imparative that we move with the times. We cannot be left behind as the world develops. We ought to adopt to the new norms and practices." He said with a smirk on his face. That smirk I always failed to understand but it made him look so good each time he was being sacarstic. He watched as I digged in and he could tell from the way I maneuvered my way around the plate that I had been really hungry but what can I say. I hadn't been able to eat since all I had done in the last 24 or so hours was cry and think and repeat. Finally he broke the silence, "babe you know I love you right?" When I heard that question suddenly reality kicked in. I had somehow hoped that the breakfast in bed I had been served was something I had after waking up from a terrible nightmare but here I was having to continue to face the music and what better time than now? But first let me hear what he has to say. Maybe, just maybe the breakfast in bed was an initiation of a proposal. " uhm yeah baby I know, and you know I love you more right". I said failing to maintain eye contact and that was the confirmation he needed that something was not right. "Great so now let me also remind you that whatever it is that's bothering you, we can work it out you hear..." "I'm pregnant Trevor". I wonder how, when and why I got the courage to suddenly drop the bombshell I thought I'd drop after some steamy love making but here we are aren't we. "I'm sorry. What!?" Trevor replied and I could not tell what he was thinking because the look on his face was not something I'd seen before. "I am pregnant, six weeks pregnant. I mean what did you think would happen after all that unprotected sex?" "Wait a minute, what do you mean what did I think would happen after all that..." I immediately interrupted him after I realized that what I'd said wasn't really a good idea. "I'm pregnant, that's what's up. My mom found out, she knew something was off about me so she interrogated me and after a while ordered I take a pregnancy test. Tinah heard me and my mom arguing and told my father so he asked my mom and my mom never lies to him so he kicked me out of the house yesterday after a thourough beating. I then crashed at Slindile's place and early in the morning caught a bus and boom here I am. You're going to be a father". Tears once again began to stream down my face and for the first time since I met him, Trevor just sat there and did not wipe my tears and hold me in a tight hug and tell me that it's going to be okay. Instead he just sat there dumbfounded, standing up and pacing up and down and sitting back at the edge of the bed. "Say something Trevor". I broke the silence hoping that he'd realize that he had forgotten something, I still need my hug and consolidation for crying out loud. You know the saying that goes, 'you don't always get what you want'? Right now that was the story of my life. Here I am left alone with my breakfast in bed. After a some minutes of pacing up and down, looking at me and at my tummy, on the floor and covering his face with his hands, he thought it would be better to walk out on me. After a while Trevor came back and sat on the wooden chair facing my direction. He sat there with his elbows rested on his knees and his hands squeezing each other. "Nompilo, we seem to have a problem. I have thought about your situation and I thought long and hard. First off, I'm not ready to be a parent and neither are you. My mother would kill me if she found out I've impregnated someone before I'm done with my studies. Now we need to find a solution suitable for both of us and our future because this, this is a game changer." My tears and I seem to be in good books lately because the way they seem to be always there, I wonder. After wiping my tears and composing myself I reminded myself that when I got here I told myself I was putting my big girl boots on, big girls do not cry. " So Trevor, you're not ready to be a parent and your mom would kill you if she found out you have a pregnant girlfriend, where does that leave me with this baby because Incase you were thinking about abortion, it's best you think again. I'm keeping this baby!"