*Chapter 1* *DOUBTS* *Sarah Mathews POV* I opened the door and smiled pretentiously as James handed me the roses and a present which was wrapped in sparkly pink wrapping paper. It was probably a box of expensive chocolates. Like he got me last year. It was our fifth wedding anniversary and like the previous year, and the year before that, he had missed it.... because of work. James was a chief marketing professional for the leading Zimbabwean telecommunications company, Econet. He led a team that developed and implemented effective marketing strategies and not surprisingly, he earned quite a considerable amount of money which is why we lived in a fifteen roomed mansion in the low density suburb of Chisipite in Harare. I shivered as the cold night air blew into the house before James shut and locked the door. It was probably nearing 10pm and I felt drowsy. This was the third time spending our wedding anniversary alone and I was getting fed up of the loneliness.... and boredom. Spending almost every day alone in such a large mansion was not thrilling. If my best friend, Alice had not dropped by in the afternoon to check up on me, I'd probably have spent the day alone... rewatching movies on Netflix that I had already watched before. James kissed my forehead as he loosened his tie. "I'm sorry sweetheart, I got caught up at work, I can make it up to you this weekend. Perhaps we can go for lunch at the Rainbow Towers?" That's what he said last anniversary and the one before that. Frankly, I was getting tired of this. We had already been to pretty much all the popular hotels in Harare, Jameson, Sheraton, Meikles...you name it...we had been there before. We had money, cars, a big house, large flat screen televisions... everything supposed to make any ordinary couple happy....but it didn't make us happy. It didn't make me happy. Our relationship felt like it was tottering on the brink of collapse and we both knew it. James Norman was quite handsome with high cheekbones, full lips and expressive eyes. He was not particularly muscular but he was fit and he had an athletic body. He bought me pretty much everything I wanted. Clothes. Cars (I had two). Food. Took me to expensive hotels. You name it. I would have been living pretty much every Zimbabwean woman's dream life if not for two problems. James and I didn't have a child (and I wanted one so bad) and he was absent most of the time. A child would have been a great way to keep busy and occupied while he was away. We had been trying for the last two years all to no avail. We even considered adopting but dropped it since I wanted a child of my own... from my own womb. "Should I heat your spaghetti and meatballs?" I asked James as he made his way to the stairs. It was for a split second but he winced. "No, don't bother sweetheart. I ate at work'" Of course he did. He rarely ate food that I cooked. The housemaids did the cleaning but I did the cooking myself....and he rarely ate at home. I would have to give it to Bruno, our German shepherd (dog). Again. We both felt it.... this relationship was dying. God only knew how long it was going to last before it drew its last breath. *Was he seeing someone at work?* *James Norman POV* We made our way up the stairs in silence like we were at a funeral procession. I felt bad for spending the whole day of our fifth wedding anniversary at work but what could I have done? There was an important meeting since we were implementing an important new marketing strategy and since I was the leader of that department, I just couldn't be absent. Sarah understood this. Or did she? These days, I felt like I didn't know her. She was more mystery than wife and it bothered me...a lot. It was pretty clear our relationship was dying. Sarah was aloof most of the time thinking God knows what. Sometimes even when she was physically close, she was emotionally distant. She used to smile a lot when we started dating... infectious genuine smiles....not the facade she was putting on. I bet she thought I didn't see it but I did. Her smiles were forced and never quite reached her eyes. God, what was I doing wrong? I bought Sarah everything she wanted. Clothes. Expensive jewelry. Cars. You name it. She had it all. I even enticed her into leaving her job as a high school teacher and becoming a full time housewife because I convinced her that I was making enough money to cover all our expenses. So she got to stay at home everyday watching Netflix and chilling with her friends. I even had two housemaids on the payroll so she didn't even have to do any cleaning. Wasn't that kind of life every woman's dream? Why wasn't she happy then? Was it because we didn't have a child? There was nothing I could do about that. I had tried to convince her to adopt but she had refused. When we reached our master bedroom which was an en suite, I watched Sarah as she sat on the bed, unwrapping the present I had gotten her. "Chocolates! Yaaay!" She exclaimed in glee as she popped one into her mouth and blew me a kiss. "Aaaaah... these taste so good James!" She said this with her eyes partly closed savouring the taste of the chocolates. She was pretty good at pretense so much so that if you didn't know her really well like I did, she could easily fool you. She didn't like the chocolates. It was a facade. Maybe it was my fault. I just didn't know what to buy her anymore. She had everything. I'd given her everything that I just didn't know what to give her anymore that I hadn't given her yet. Sometimes I wished she didn't have to pretend so much. After undressing, I wrapped my drying towel. "Honey, I'm glad you like them, I'm just going to get a quick shower,, I'll be back in five" I told her. "Sure, don't take too long. I'll be waiting," She responded as she gave me a mischievous smile but I knew better than to believe it. In all honesty, our sex life was pretty much non-existent. We were now pretty much just sleep buddies. She was going to pretty much be asleep when I returned. She would be pretending of course. She was pretty good at the pretense game. She deserved a Grammy award for that. That's how it was like these days. Pathetic, I know. I left her slipping into her red silk night dress which I got her when we were in China a year and a half ago and I got into the shower and shut the door and took a deep breath. I was exhausted both physically and mentally. I just wanted the hot water to wash away the stress and fatigue. As the hot water droplets bounced on and streamed down my body, I couldn't help but wonder. *Was she seeing someone else while I was at work?* *Sarah Mathews POV* After a few seconds, I heard the sound of the shower running. He was bathing. I guess because I was spending most of the time alone, James now felt kind of like a stranger. Sometimes I just didn't know how to act around him, which is a weird thing to say for someone I'd been married to for five years now. I needed to do something before he left the shower because when he did, I'd have to pretend I was asleep. We slept together but no longer *slept together*[know what I mean?]. I had pretty much forgotten the last time we actually had intercourse. In the afternoon, when my best friend, Alice had dropped by on her way to the gym, we had talked for a bit while we were in the pool. She liked working out. Something she had tried to convince me to get into but to no avail. I had told her about my dull, banal and dying relationship and she had advised me to...try dating apps. To look for someone else...to cheat. I had told her I wouldn't do it because I loved James and I wanted to work things out. But I had been questioning that lately. Did I really love him? I just didn't feel the spark anymore. The butterflies just weren't there anymore. I entered the pin that unlocked my phone and quickly downloaded the app on playstore. My hands shook as I created an account. I couldn't believe I was actually doing this. It filled me with both dread and excitement. Just then the shower stopped. He was done. I locked my phone and pretended to be asleep...as usual. Just as the bathroom door opened, I felt my phone vibrating. *I had probably just gotten my first match on the popular online dating site, Tinder.* _So that's the first chapter folks. Hope you enjoyed it. If this gets over 500 reactions 🔥👍❤️ then chapter 2 will be posted next week on Tuesday._