*Advice on how to deal with Betrayal* *“Shattered Glass”* – A Story of Betrayal Amina and Farid had been married for 10 years. They had two children, a stable home, and what seemed like a content marriage. Amina was a devoted wife—loving, loyal, and patient. She supported Farid through financial struggles and emotional lows. Yet, in the last few months, she noticed a shift: late-night phone calls, a distant look in his eyes, a password on his phone…. Busy schedules, and more business trips to Dubai. Her instincts stirred, but she suppressed them, giving him the benefit of the doubt. *The Discovery* One evening, Farid left his phone unattended. A message popped up from a woman saved under Driver . Amina opened it—and her world crumbled. What followed were a series of chats, voice notes, and images—clear evidence of emotional and physical betrayal. Amina didn't know what to do so she thought for a while. She had to act quickly. She collected all the proof first then trembling, she talked to Farid. At first, he denied it. But eventually, with his head bowed in shame, he admitted the affair. He said it "just happened," that he "didn't mean to," that it was "a mistake." But the damage was done. Amina felt like a glass that had shattered—pieces of her identity, dignity, and trust scattered. *Her Emotions*: *Shock*: “How could he do this to me? To our children?” *Grief*: Mourning the loss of what she thought her marriage was. *Rage*: Anger at his betrayal, lies, and cowardice. *Shame*: Embarrassment over what people might say. *Fear*: “What will become of me? Can I trust again?” *Spiritual confusion*: “Did I do something wrong? Why did Allah let this happen to me?” *Low Self-Esteem* - Feeling worthless and not good enough. “Am I not pretty? “ *Loss of Trust*- “ Can I ever trust anyone again? “ *Advice to men at this point.* To the men who have betrayed their wives—pause for a moment here and truly reflect on the weight of your actions. Understand that your betrayal was not just a moment of weakness; it was a shattering blow to a woman who trusted you, loved you, and built her world around you. She carries the pain in her heart, in her prayers, and in her silence. You didn’t just break a promise—you fractured her sense of safety, her self-worth, and her ability to trust. This is not just about infidelity; it’s about the emotional devastation, the sleepless nights, the questioning of her own value, and the emotional toll on her soul. If you have any fear of Allah, any remnants of love, or any sense of conscience, then acknowledge her pain fully, take responsibility without excuses, and begin the long, sincere journey of making amends—not just with words, but through Tawba first then consistent, genuine actions. *Advice to the Women* *Step 1:* *Let Yourself Feel* - *Acknowledge the Betrayal* Emotions are natural. The Shariah does not asks us to suppress emotions but to manage them righteously. "Do not grieve; indeed Allah is with us." – Surah Tawbah (9:40) Name your feelings. Cry. Journal. Talk to someone you trust. Don't bottle it up. Betrayal is trauma—it needs release. *Step 2:* *Seek Solitude with Allah* Turn to the One who will never betray you. Pray Tahajjud: Pour your heart out to Allah. Dua: Say "Hasbiya Allah " – "Allah is sufficient for me." Istighfaar & Dhikr: Ask Allah to forgive your sins and the sins of your spouse. *A piece of Advise to sisters dealing with Betrayal* Dear sister, if you are facing the pain of betrayal, know that your heartbreak is valid, and your tears are seen by Allah—the One who heals hearts and rights wrongs. In moments like this, it is tempting to seek sympathy by sharing your pain with family and friends. But be cautious. Sharing your private marital struggles with those who may react emotionally or spread the matter can add more damage than healing. You deserve support, but seek it with dignity. Protect your honour and that of your family by involving only those who are wise, trustworthy, and grounded in Islamic knowledge—people who fear Allah, who genuinely care for your well-being, and who will offer sincere advice without causing further harm. What you say in pain today might be remembered long after the matter is resolved, affecting how others see your spouse, your marriage, or your choices. Preserve your strength by turning first to Allah, then to people of integrity, and handle this delicate matter with forbearance and self-respect. *Step 3:* *Do Not Make Rash Decisions* Divorce is allowed but discouraged unless necessary. Take time before deciding. The Prophet ﷺ said, "Among lawful things, divorce is most hated by Allah." (Abu Dawood) When in shock, your brain is in survival mode. Don't make life-changing decisions in this state. Give yourself time to calm down and think clearly. *Step 4:* *Seek Islamic Counseling* A trained Islamic counselor can help align your healing with your values. An Islamic therapist can help process grief, betrayal trauma, and identity disruption. Consider marriage counseling by a Islamic Scholars who have expertise in the field,if he shows sincere remorse and willingness to change. *Step 5:* *Follow the Guidance of Counselors and Coaches with Commitment* It’s important to remember that while counselors and coaches offer a safe space for you to be heard—and yes, in the first couple of sessions, just expressing your pain is part of the healing—true progress begins when you are ready to act on the guidance given. Emotional release is only the first step. After that, healing requires effort, discipline, and consistency. A good counselor may give you steps to rebuild trust, . You too will be guided on how to manage intrusive thoughts, set boundaries, and reclaim your emotional balance. Constantly thinking about the betrayal will only reopen the wound—every time the thought arises, consciously choose to shift your focus. Recite dhikr like “Hasbiyallahu la ilaha illa Huwa” or “Ya Jabbar, Ya Latif”, or engage in something productive—read, walk, write, help someone in need. Train your mind, just like training a muscle, to let go of what breaks you and hold on to what helps you rise. Healing is not passive; it is an active, soul-deep choice you make every day. Let your coach be your compass—but it is you who must take the steps on the path *An After thought* In many cases, women attend counseling alone because their husbands refuse to participate—either out of denial, shame, or a lack of understanding. While this can feel frustrating and isolating, trust can still be rebuilt gradually, even if only one spouse is actively seeking help. One practical example of building trust in such situations is through daily emotional check-ins. Even if the husband is not willing to go to counseling, he can be encouraged—gently and respectfully—to sit with his wife for just 10–15 minutes a day with no distractions, and ask simple but meaningful questions like: “How are you feeling today?” “Is there anything I can do to support you better?” “How was your day emotionally?” This consistent, intentional act of showing up—even in small ways—begins to rebuild emotional safety. It shows presence, care, and commitment. Additionally, he can make other trust-building efforts such as: Voluntarily updating his whereabouts or schedule Avoiding secrecy with devices or accounts Taking spiritual steps like praying together or listening to short Islamic talks together Reading the Seerah of the Prophet Muhammad sallal lahu alaihi wasallam together Even if he's not ready to sit in a therapist’s office, these small acts of vulnerability and effort go a long way. And for the wife, it is important to acknowledge these efforts, however small, and not expect perfection overnight. Healing is often not about grand gestures but about consistent drops of honesty, presence, and mutual respect—even when only one partner is actively trying. *Step 6:* *Rebuild Self-Worth* Betrayal often makes the betrayed question their worth. Remind yourself: You are not to blame for the betrayal. You are still worthy of love and respect. Rediscover passions that nourish your soul. Allah loves the brokenhearted who turn to Him. Your worth is defined by your taqwa, not someone else’s betrayal. *Step 7:* *Protect the Children (if any)* Do not involve them in adult details. Maintain stability and love around them. Don’t speak ill of their father in front of them . *Step 8:* *Choose Forgiveness*– Forgiveness is not about being okay with the wrong done. It’s about releasing yourself from the chain of anger and resentment. “Let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you?” – Surah An-Noor . *Step 9:* *Embrace Tawakkul (Trust in Allah’s Plan)* Remind yourself: Allah is Al-‘Adl – The Most Just. Nothing is hidden from Him. What was lost, He can replace with something better – in dunya or akhirah. *Step 10:* *Use the Pain to Rise* Pain can lead to growth. Volunteer. Support other sisters. Learn something new. Start a healing journal. Get closer to Allah than ever before. Let your pain become your power and a means of closeness to Allah. *Conclusion:* Every story of betrayal is unique. While much is often said about husbands who betray, the reality is that women, too, at times fall short in their commitments. Betrayal knows no gender—it is a human failure, and each person’s experience of it is deeply personal. The depth of pain one feels cannot be measured by another. What shatters one heart may barely move another, and what takes one person weeks to overcome may take another years. Healing, too, is not a one-size-fits-all journey. So, let us be cautious with our words and generous with our understanding. To our dear readers: do not judge anyone. Do not compare your pain to someone else’s, and do not belittle the choices others make in their path to healing. Whether you are looking at the one who was betrayed or the one who betrayed—withhold judgment. You do not know the full story, the silent battles, or the private repentance. Instead, choose kindness. Offer your sympathy. Lend a compassionate ear. And most importantly, raise your hands in dua—for both the broken and the remorseful. Because in the end, we are all in need of Allah’s mercy, and it is through compassion, not criticism, that hearts are truly healed.