The Sam Femi
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About The Sam Femi
www.samfemi.com - seamless life
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Meditating on your mortality is only depressing if you miss the point. It is in fact a tool to create priority and meaning. It’s a tool that generations have used to create real perspective and urgency. To treat our time as a gift and not waste it on the trivial and vain. Death doesn’t make life pointless but rather purposeful. And fortunately, we don’t have to nearly die to tap into this. A simple reminder can bring us closer to living the life we want. It doesn’t matter who you are or how many things you have left to do, a car can hit you in an intersection and drive your teeth back into your skull. That’s it. It could all be over. Today, tomorrow, someday soon. "If I have 24 hours to live, what will I do now?" Ask yourself this as often as possible. © the SAM FEMI
Experiencing the attraction that is associated with love is extraordinarily important. If you have it, you are unbelievably fortunate and should do everything you can to maintain it — and that takes effort. However, your relationship and future marriage cannot just be about attraction. You have to start considering your life together from the perspective of practicality and economics. You need to ally the attraction with maturity and intelligence in regard to how you are going to put your lives together on a level of detail. Ask and talk about: How are we going to handle our finances? Where are we going to live? What are our joint plans going to be? You should know the person well enough that you start discussing the real practical issues of life and determine if you are capable of negotiating those together. Unless you make a lifelong commitment (i.e., one that you are not going to back out of), you are not going to take the relationship with the seriousness necessary to make it the highest possible quality and sustainability. The relationship you jointly operate adds immensely to the quality and depth of your life. You have the rope and strand of your life, and your partner has the rope and strand of theirs; those are tied together to make a stronger rope that unites you across time so you can undertake massive adventures together. It is challenging, but it is a process that produces an unbreakable bond between two beings. If the relationship is based on trust and genuine communication, that bond makes both individuals better in every way. To know if you are ready to marry someone, you should know if you can negotiate with the person in such a way you have started to formulate a vision of a joint future that you can both look forward to with enthusiasm and confidence. That means considering if you have a sufficient number of joint interests and are oriented in the same direction with regard to careers, the possibility of children, and the manner in which you will interact with your in-laws, for example. J.P #SeamlessLifeTribe
You’re good at what you like. People who are good at chess like to play chess, just like people who are good at tennis like to play tennis. People who are good at writing like to write, just like people who are good at designing like to design. We look at these skills as God-given talents that some people are born with and some people aren’t. But, in actuality, what we are good at has little to do with natural ability and everything to do with what we enjoy doing. When you like doing something, practice feels like play and challenges feel like games. *Liking what you do is a competitive advantage.* _Do you like what you do?_
Momentum can be defined as “mass in motion”. Some say that when a full-size Siberian tiger builds up enough momentum, being hit by him can feel akin to being hit by a small car. You quickly understand the repercussions of momentum in hand-to-hand combat. In Krav Maga, the infamous Israeli self-defense, you’re taught to “close the gap” between yourself and your adversary. In part, because it’s within close proximity where you can gain access to vital pressure points like the eyes, groin, nose, ears and chin; and where you can wield your most deadly weapons, your elbows and knees. In part, because it’s within close proximity where you can lessen the range of your opponent’s strikes and, in turn, prevent them from building momentum. A fist is not dangerous at rest. It only becomes dangerous when it is cocked back and swung; when it has the opportunity to gain momentum. When a tiger can fully cock back and strike with his paw at full force, it can be so momentous and dangerous that it can shatter the skull of a bear. There’s another kind of momentum, though, that not a lot of people talk about. Momentum can also be defined as “energy in motion”. Growing up, watching basketball, it was astonishing how you could be winning a game by fifteen points and then, in a matter of two minutes, the momentum could shift and you could find yourself down a handful of points. Coaches, at least the good coaches, keep momentum on their side or prevent their opponents from gaining momentum through what is called a “time-out”. If you watch good college coaches, they’re quite strategic about when they call a time-out. Oftentimes, it’s not when the opposing team has the chance to make a run by ten or so points but right after they’ve made two great plays in a row. By calling time out, they’re giving themselves time to catch up to the momentum and preventing the opposing team from building up any more of it. Momentum works off the court and mat, too. When momentum is on your side in your career, it’s the greatest most beautiful thrill you will ever know. But, when it’s opposing you, it feels like punching at a moving target underwater. In the moments where momentum is on your side, run as fast as you can in the direction the momentum is carrying you: work harder, work longer hours, capitalize on opportunities, say yes to everything. But, when you look up to find the momentum is against you, have the wherewithal to call time out, to take a step back, to rest, to recharge, to take inventory, to say no. Find a good, warm place to hide while the wolves pass you by and the momentum has a chance to die. While going "with" the sea wave and current might seem safer than going against it, it's not necessarily safe because of the potential for rip currents, which can pull you rapidly away from the shore. It's not always safe to go with the current. #SeamlessLifeTribe
Early on in your career, before you've had the chance to make any sort of name for yourself, it's worthwhile to be hyper-focused in what it is that you do. Nobody knows who the hell you are and you have yet to prove yourself and so to stay top of mind, you need to become known as "the _____ guy" or "the _____ gal". When my grandfather was growing up in the small town of Francisco, Indiana there was one of everything. There was one gravedigger. There was one blacksmith. There was one carpenter. There was one milkman. There was one roofer. When you needed something done, you knew exactly who to call. And, if you didn't know exactly who to call, you called someone that did. This is still mostly how folks make decisions nowadays. When we need something done, we thumb through the Rolodex in our minds and if we come up short, we ask those around us if they "know a guy". Decision-makers with deep pockets at big companies operate in much the same way. When Nike needs a kick-ass graphic designer to take on a special project for them, they're not Googling "best graphic designers". They're calling their friends over at Apple and asking them if they've recently worked with a graphic designer that blew their fucking socks off. Where young guns get themselves in trouble, is they drop their trousers, pump themselves full of Viagra and attempt to fuck the world. They attempt to be everything to everyone. You don't build a career this way, at least not early on; you build a career by choosing a specific skill and then becoming one of the best in the world at that specific skill. Some examples of folks who've done this incredibly well are Aaron Draplin over at Draplin Design Co., Colson Whitehead who writes novels like The Nickel Boys, Maria Popova over at Brain Pickings (now The Marginalian) and, of course, stars we all recognize who've made careers singing, making art and playing in movies. However, as you get further along in your craft and you become known as "the _____ guy" or "the _____ gal" and you make a metric fuck ton of money being known as "the _____ guy" or "the _____ gal"... you risk becoming a Caricature of yourself. The three-part Netflix documentary, Jeen-Yuhs, shows an up-close and personal look at the risks of becoming your own Caricature. There are artists like Jamie Foxx, Jay-Z and Kanye West who are still setting the world on fire decades after the footage for the documentary was originally captured... then there are artists like Scarface who are now on Cameo. The difference between lifelong success and ending up on Cameo is reinvention. Jamie Foxx isn't just an artist, he's an actor who has played astounding roles in Baby Driver, Django and Ray. Jay-Z isn't just an artist, he's a renowned businessman and investor, who has made a fortune in Uber, Oatley, SpaceX, JetSmart (Uber for private jets) and countless other enterprises. Then, of course, there's Kanye West who isn't just an artist (constantly pushing the boundaries in music) but who has become one of the most influential minds in fashion alive today. (Though, his antics off the stage and runway may eventually lead to his fall...) The reason so few people reinvent themselves is because once you become known for a specific thing and become loved for a specific thing and become paid handsomely to do that specific thing over and over again, reinventing yourself risks you losing... everything. But, not reinventing yourself might mean you one day looking up to an empty arena, as folks have grown tired of the same joke. By Cole Schafer. #SeamlessLifeTribe