*"Treating a woman how she is supposed to be treated"* means treating her like a normal human being. *"Not how she wants to be treated"* means she wants to be put on a pedestal and treated like a mini goddess. The former prevents resentment. The latter enables entitlement. The former is being kind to a woman. The latter is being nice to a woman. Why is it important to treat them like normal human beings? This is because it helps manage expectations from both ends. She's not mentally forced to fit into a mould of what you've pedestaled her to be. There is not much pressure from you, the man, to overcompensate. There is not much pressure from her, the woman, to become who she's not. Treating her as a normal human ensures that her human disappointments don't lead to abuse. Treating a woman how she wants to be treated entails: 1. Making her the centre of your world 2. Worshipping the ground, she walks on 3. Granting her every whim 4. Putting her happiness before yours 5. Not hitting her even after she hits you 6. Heavily investing in her from the first date 7. Forgiving cheating. Those things are some of the actions that put a woman on a pedestal. *It will force her to fit into your mould of a "good or virtuous" woman, even when she's not that.* It will create resentment because there'd be certain errors from her that would be met with harsh criticism. "I didn't know that this is how you used to do." But when you see her as a human being who, like others, will need to work hard to earn your respect, trust, and investment. It would make it easier to relax and associate and get to see her for who she is. What I am doing is breaking down the word "OVERPEDESTALISATION" that men put women on. Then, there is the "INFANTILIZATION" aspect of treating a woman how she wants to be treated. This occurs when you: 1. Know she's lying but convince yourself she was influenced by someone 2. Know she cheated and can see the signs but need evidence. 3. Know she doesn't care about you but convince yourself that with time, she would 4. Know she lacks manners from how she treats others, but assumes those people caused her to disrespect them 5. Know she's a whore but convinces yourself that she's repentant and everyone isn't a saint 6. Know she was a prostitute but convinced yourself that she did so because of her condition 7. Know she doesn't work but uses expensive gadgets and convinces yourself that it's her relatives that got it. Those things are infantilizing a woman because you absolve them of accountability. Then, make it seem like they were kids that made uninformed decisions. Mind you, they'd still think they are your equal despite making those excuses for them. It's why you must be kind, not nice to women. Do you know where it gets interesting? It's not as though that treating them how they want to be treated will get you their: 1. Love 2. Respect 3. Loyalty 4. Commitment 5. Sacrifice, etc They are still loyal to their feelings above everything else. It's why you'd see a girl whose man "worships the ground" she walks on; 1. lock him outside his house 2. cheat on him ruthlessly 3. dump him after his investment 4. betray him despite his sacrifice 5. talk down on him 6. argue that he deserves to be shouted at 7. slap him, etc What women say and what they do are two sides of a coin. The same girl who told you that she cheated on her ex because he was abusive will cheat on you with the abusive ex because you were being too nice and available. The same girl that you bought iPhone for after the first date, will sleep with another man who got her hollandia yoghurt and made her laugh. But treating them like humans makes it easier to detach with love when they mess up, _( or reminds them that they are humans and are imperfect and that they too make mistakes for which they must be accountable)_ There'd be nothing much that'd hold you back, and the sacrifice would be mutual. If she messes up, you won't be scared to set her straight because if she wants to leave, that's her business. Treating a woman how she is supposed to be treated entails; 1. Demanding for reciprocity, i.e., no special treatment 2. Being ready to be temporarily hated for her good 3. Investing more in yourself and motivating her to do the same for her 4. Never forgive her for not creating boundaries for you 5. Never making excuses for her bad behaviour 6. Punishing her bad behaviour and rewarding the good ones 7. Having other female options 8. Ensuring to force her to be accountable for her actions 9. Never "na woman" yourself out of smacking her back, if she hits you 10. Being ready to withdraw from her. The last is a man's ultimate superpower. It sets a woman straight like nothing else. Once a woman knows you are capable of leaving your investment/sacrifices behind in order not to tolerate any of her disrespect, even with kids involved, she'd never be rude or reckless. They know what they are doing. We all do. Be wise, mate. Learn or learn the hard way. (The writer is an X personality with the handle @iamklausenburg)