The Day I Became a Plumber by Force I was never going to tell this story because the embarrassment still follows me, but since we’re all here… 😭😭 So one day, I went to visit this fine babe, Sandra. We had been talking for a while, and this was my first time at her place. Omo, I had to be on my best behavior. You know how you have to package yourself on the first visit? No unnecessary talking, no eating like a hungry lion, no messing up. Everything was going well. Her place was nice, she smelled good, and we were vibing. Then, after about an hour, nature tapped me gently on the shoulder. I needed to use the toilet. At first, I tried to ignore it. I shifted in my seat, changed positions, and even crossed my legs like I was discussing an important business deal. But the thing no gree. My stomach was now singing worship songs. Sandra noticed I was acting strange and asked if I was okay. I smiled and said, “Yeah, just a little tired.” Tired? That’s how I knew I was in trouble. 😭😭 At some point, I couldn’t hold it anymore, so I casually asked, “Hey, where’s your bathroom?” She pointed to the door down the hall. My people, I walked in confidently, thinking I would do my business quietly and return like nothing happened. Biggest mistake of my life. I finished and turned to flush. I pressed the handle. Nothing. I pressed it again. Water didn’t move. At first, I thought maybe I didn’t press hard enough. So I put more energy into it. Still nothing. Omo, panic started to set in. I stood there, staring at the toilet like it had personally offended me. I opened the tank, pretending I knew what I was doing. Empty. Why is the tank empty?! At that moment, Sandra knocked. “Are you okay?” My spirit left my body. 😭😭 I cleared my throat. “Yeah, just washing my hands.” But my brain was on fire. How do I escape this? Do I open the window and jump out? Do I pretend nothing happened and just walk out like a criminal? That’s when I remembered—there was a bucket in the corner. Omo, I grabbed it, rushed to the sink, and started fetching water like my life depended on it. My hands were shaking. The pressure was low, so it was taking FOREVER. Meanwhile, Sandra knocked again. “You sure you’re okay?” At this point, I was sweating. “Yeah, yeah, just freshening up.” I finally got enough water, poured it into the toilet, and PRAYED it would flush. I watched as the water swirled… then slowed down… then stopped. The thing didn’t move. 😭😭😭 I almost screamed. I fetched another bucket, poured it in aggressively, and finally, by the grace of God, the mess disappeared. I washed my hands at lightning speed, checked myself in the mirror (because I looked like someone that fought in a war), and walked out with the most innocent smile. Sandra looked at me. “You sure you’re okay?” I nodded. “Yeah, your bathroom is nice.” She smiled. “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, the flush hasn’t been working since yesterday.” I nearly fainted. 😭😭😭 Till today, anytime I see a toilet, I say a short prayer. Never again.