Astro Tv Media

Astro Tv Media

2/6/2025, 5:12:58 PM

The Day I Became a Plumber by Force I was never going to tell this story because the embarrassment still follows me, but since we’re all here… 😭😭 So one day, I went to visit this fine babe, Sandra. We had been talking for a while, and this was my first time at her place. Omo, I had to be on my best behavior. You know how you have to package yourself on the first visit? No unnecessary talking, no eating like a hungry lion, no messing up. Everything was going well. Her place was nice, she smelled good, and we were vibing. Then, after about an hour, nature tapped me gently on the shoulder. I needed to use the toilet. At first, I tried to ignore it. I shifted in my seat, changed positions, and even crossed my legs like I was discussing an important business deal. But the thing no gree. My stomach was now singing worship songs. Sandra noticed I was acting strange and asked if I was okay. I smiled and said, “Yeah, just a little tired.” Tired? That’s how I knew I was in trouble. 😭😭 At some point, I couldn’t hold it anymore, so I casually asked, “Hey, where’s your bathroom?” She pointed to the door down the hall. My people, I walked in confidently, thinking I would do my business quietly and return like nothing happened. Biggest mistake of my life. I finished and turned to flush. I pressed the handle. Nothing. I pressed it again. Water didn’t move. At first, I thought maybe I didn’t press hard enough. So I put more energy into it. Still nothing. Omo, panic started to set in. I stood there, staring at the toilet like it had personally offended me. I opened the tank, pretending I knew what I was doing. Empty. Why is the tank empty?! At that moment, Sandra knocked. “Are you okay?” My spirit left my body. 😭😭 I cleared my throat. “Yeah, just washing my hands.” But my brain was on fire. How do I escape this? Do I open the window and jump out? Do I pretend nothing happened and just walk out like a criminal? That’s when I remembered—there was a bucket in the corner. Omo, I grabbed it, rushed to the sink, and started fetching water like my life depended on it. My hands were shaking. The pressure was low, so it was taking FOREVER. Meanwhile, Sandra knocked again. “You sure you’re okay?” At this point, I was sweating. “Yeah, yeah, just freshening up.” I finally got enough water, poured it into the toilet, and PRAYED it would flush. I watched as the water swirled… then slowed down… then stopped. The thing didn’t move. 😭😭😭 I almost screamed. I fetched another bucket, poured it in aggressively, and finally, by the grace of God, the mess disappeared. I washed my hands at lightning speed, checked myself in the mirror (because I looked like someone that fought in a war), and walked out with the most innocent smile. Sandra looked at me. “You sure you’re okay?” I nodded. “Yeah, your bathroom is nice.” She smiled. “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, the flush hasn’t been working since yesterday.” I nearly fainted. 😭😭😭 Till today, anytime I see a toilet, I say a short prayer. Never again.

Astro Tv Media

2/16/2025, 1:21:35 PM

*The Night I Met My Match* I should have walked away the moment I saw her, but something about that night felt like fate had set a trap just for me. It was one of those nights—the type where the air is thick with bad decisions and good whiskey. My guys and I were at this lounge, just vibing, when I saw her. Red dress. Satin. Low-cut back. Legs crossed like she owned the entire damn place. She wasn’t looking at me, but she knew I was looking at her. The kind of woman who could make a man forget he had sense. I leaned over to my friend. “Who’s that?” He smirked, shook his head. “Forget it, bro. That one is trouble.” That’s exactly why I went over. I slid into the seat across from her. She didn’t even flinch, just ran a manicured finger along the rim of her wine glass before finally—finally—looking at me. “You took your time,” she said, voice like dark honey. “Had to make sure you were worth it,” I replied. She smiled, slow, like she had already won. That’s how it started. Banter, eye contact that lasted a second too long, her testing me at every turn. She liked to argue. She wanted to see if I’d bend, but I wasn’t about to break—not yet. “So what do you want?” she asked after a while, swirling her drink. “You.” She exhaled a soft laugh. “And what exactly do you think you can do with me?” I leaned in, fingers grazing the stem of her glass before taking it from her and placing it aside. My hand slid under the table, trailing up her thigh slowly, deliberately. “Everything,” I murmured. “And maybe more.” Her breath hitched, but she recovered fast. She grabbed my wrist, stopping me. “Careful,” she warned, nails digging into my skin. I smirked, shifting closer, lips brushing just beneath her ear. “I don’t do careful.” We didn’t even finish our drinks. She dragged me out of there, fingers curled around my wrist like she was the one in control, but we both knew better. Outside, she backed me against my car, her breath warm against my jaw. “I don’t do love,” she whispered, hands slipping under my jacket. I smirked, fingers tracing the line of her spine, feeling her shiver beneath my touch. “Good. I don’t do limits.” She exhaled sharply, her hands tugging at my shirt, lips barely brushing mine. “You talk too much.” I closed the distance. Her lips were fire—hungry, demanding, tasting like wine and danger. I let her lead for a moment, let her think she was in control, before flipping the script. My hands slid down, gripping her hips, pressing her against me so she could feel exactly what she was doing to me. She gasped, nails raking up my chest, dragging me deeper into the heat of her. The world blurred—just her, her scent, her body melting into mine. By the time we stumbled into her apartment, we were all hands, all heat, all desperation. Her dress slipped from her shoulders, pooling at her feet. My jacket hit the floor next. She pushed me back onto the couch, straddling me, her fingers threading through my hair, tilting my head back so she could devour me properly. “Still think you’re in charge?” she murmured against my lips. I gripped her waist, flipped her under me in one swift motion, pinning her hands above her head. “I don’t think, sweetheart. I know.” Her lips parted, a sharp inhale—surprise, excitement. She told me to slow down. I didn’t. She told me she was in control. She wasn’t. Skin on skin, lips tracing fire, nails dragging promises along my back. She wasn’t soft. No, she took what she wanted, and I gave just as much. Every moan was a dare, every gasp a victory. By the time the night was over, we were breathless, bodies spent, sweat glistening under dim lights. She lay there, staring at the ceiling, then finally turned to me. “Maybe,” she murmured, “you’re more dangerous than I thought.” I smirked, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “Told you—I don’t do limits.” She exhaled, shaking her head. And just like that, I knew—I wasn’t walking away from this one. Not yet.

Astro Tv Media

2/19/2025, 10:37:12 AM

So hubby promised to pick me up from work at 4:30pm today so we can drive home together. As at 4:20pm I ringed his phone, he was stuck in traffic. So I waited in the lounge, then he called & said he would soon get to where I am. so I went outside to wait for him at the bus stop. While waiting for him, a young man approached me. I could tell the perfume brand he was wearing. As a young lady, whether married or single, men will always approach you to express themselves. So he came up to me with a smile and said "Hi, howdy do?" I responded "Howdy do". "I like your outfit, they look good on you." He said "Thank you! I appreciate the compliment" I said. "Did I mention you look beautiful? I was about leaving when your beauty draw my attention, and the way you accessorize your outfit. You strike me like one with a good Dress sense." He said. "Oh, thank you. I get that a lot." I said, with a smile😊😊 "So what are you doing here all by yourself?" He asked. "Oh I'm waiting for my husband".😊 He smiled and said "well isn't it funny how God had plan today to be? Who would have thought I might Meet my wife at the bus station." He said. I admire his confidence, but he seem to misinterpret my statement when I said "I'm waiting for my husband". Cos I was actually waiting for my husband to come pick me up. Then he went on to ask for my number. I told him I'm married. He stole a glance at my fingers and said "come on, you don't have a ring on your finger that indicates you're married, however most young girls could wear a ring to chase men away, play hard-to-get. I understand but just give me your contact, I mean no harm, just friendship" Though my church don't use wedding ring but uses the Bible to wed couples, so he's finding it hard to believe that I'm married, or probably some ladies he had encountered do chase men away with a fake engagement or wedding ring. So I said to myself, its best I show him I'm married rather than trying to explain myself further. I looked up, I saw my husband's car approaching us from a distance. So the guy kept insisting that I give him my number then I said okay. I will. I collected his phone and press my husband's phone number. At that point my husband had parked, he walking towards us. The guy dialed the number, my husband's phone rang. Hubby looked at his phone, saw it ringing. He didn't pick up, he just walked up to me and said; "Babe I'm sorry I kept you waiting this long". He said so with a kiss on my lips. Then I kissed him again and hugged him. So I introduced my husband to the guy. I said; "Mr Adewale, meet my husband Romeo, and hubby, meet Mr Adewale, the guy who just dialed your number few seconds ago". They shook hands. 🤝 Adewale smiled and said "Respect!" 😀 Romeo said "Let me guess, you tried to hit on My wife and get her contact? bro, you don't know the woman I married. Just pray you find a woman like her." Adewale said; "Bro no be lie!! I been dey think say na OT she been dey use. But then again I appreciate her loyalty." Then he turned to me and said "For giving me your Husband's contact instead of yours, I respect you. Though I used to think all women are the same, but meeting you has changed that notion. Do have a good one!". He left. Hubby and I drove off. The essence of this gist is not to gain praises from anyone. What I'm trying to say is: 1. When a human being "Truly Loves" you, his biggest fear is to hurt you. 2. Loyalty is an expensive character all lovers must have and must never joke with. 3. Transparency is a virtue. ©️Blessedgirl001

Astro Tv Media

2/22/2025, 3:31:57 PM

*The Worst Uber Ride of My Life* I should have known the night was going to be a disaster the moment my Uber driver said, *“Bros, I never really drive at night before o, but we go try.”* But I was already running late for this date, and I had been talking to this babe for *too long* to fumble now. I needed to see her, so I ignored the red flag and entered the car. Biggest mistake of my life. From the moment we hit the road, I knew something was off. This man was gripping the steering wheel like it was a steering committee. Eyes wide, lips slightly open, as if he was concentrating on performing brain surgery. I checked the app again. *4.2-star rating.* Ah. I should have checked before entering. “Bros, no vex, I dey try avoid pothole,” he explained, swerving violently to the left. There was no pothole. At this point, I held on to the door handle for dear life. Then came the first *real* problem. We stopped at a traffic light, and before I could even relax, I heard a voice from outside. “Baba, where you dey go?” I turned and saw a guy— *drenched in sweat, wearing only boxers and one slipper.* “AH! Bro, why you dey run?” my driver shouted back. “I no fit explain! Just carry me go anywhere!” the guy pleaded, still panting. I was already shaking my head. “Oga, don’t open this d—” *Click.* Driver unlocked the door. Before I could protest, *Boxers Man* jumped into the front seat. “Baba abeg, just drive! No ask question!” My soul left my body. “Driver, please—throw this man out.” “Bros, I no fit, him fit need help.” “HELP FOR WHAT? WHY IS HE SWEATING LIKE THIS?” At this point, *Boxers Man* turned to me and said, *“Brother, no vex, I just escape from something.”* Escape?? Before I could even process that, I heard shouting from outside. “THIEF! CATCH AM!” My driver screamed. I screamed. Boxers Man screamed. Then my driver did something I will never forget— *he hit the accelerator.* I *swear to you*, my spirit left my body again. We were speeding through the streets, dodging innocent people, while Boxers Man kept shouting, *“GO LEFT! NO, RIGHT! NO, INSIDE THAT COMPOUND!”* Oga wanted us to enter someone’s house. At this point, I pulled out my phone and texted my date: *“I don’t think I will make it. Please always remember me as a good man.”* We kept driving, turning into random streets, until finally, we stopped at an abandoned corner. Boxers Man exhaled deeply. *“God bless una. I go come down here.”* And just like that, he got out and ran into the night. Silence. My driver turned to me, looking like he had just seen Jesus. “Bros, I no go lie, this work no be for me.” I nodded slowly. “Yes. Please drop me here.” That was the day I deleted Uber from my phone.

Astro Tv Media

2/26/2025, 10:00:14 PM

TRUE LIFE STORY ABOUT DATING APPS & Guys not controlling their feelings I broke up with my long-term boyfriend five months ago. It was mutual, but to accept that he was no longer part of my life wasn't easy. I was sad but wanted to move on from the “breakup” feeling soon... One day, after spending endless “work-less” hours sitting at the office desk, I noticed that two of my female colleagues were giggling and blushing for several hours. "Hey, do you guys believe in social media relationships?” I asked. “Yeah, it’s a nice way to meet guys and it makes your dating game strong,” one of the girls replied. “I’ve got a date set. He looks amazing, has abs and looks like he’s a total gym freak. Just imagine how amazing and strong he’d be in bed,” another interrupted. I Was Curious About Online Dating Apps Smiling sheepishly, I went back to my laptop screen. I was curious; I just had to see what the big deal was. It sounded intriguing to meet guys virtually, making me feel like I could control the situation: who I liked, who I didn’t when to meet, and when not to. Even though I thought the app was just another waste of time like, I was still lured into downloading one. After setting up my profile and bio, I finally settled down and began swiping—left swipe, right swipe. That’s all it was. I didn’t get the point of the app, but it felt like a game. I’d be swiping in the cab, in restaurants, and late at night before sleeping. I began talking to my matches; 90 percent of them were either boring or creepy. Only one guy I was talking to seemed pretty cool. He had a start-up, he was nice; had a beard (oh! My weakness), and seemed decent. His name was Fred. We exchanged numbers and actually talked a lot on the first day. He wanted to meet, but I had a rule: ‘Not to go on a date before you have at least talked for a week’. He was sweet enough to be patient and he actually waited for a week. We both hit it off extremely well. I did know we hardly had anything in common. Our personalities were different, our choices, our career beliefs – there were many red flags which I should have counted, but I didn’t and agreed to meet Fred We didn’t seem to have much in common It was Sunday evening and I went to meet him in a cosy little café, situated on a busy street. “The way you look when a person talks, it’s amazing. It makes the person feel that you are listening,” he said. I blushed a little, “Oh! I’m a good listener.” It was good and at the end of it, we hugged goodbye. “I had a good time meeting you,” he texted while I was on my way to home. “Me too,” I replied back. “Really? It didn’t feel like it,” He replied back. “I just don’t talk much, I am more of a listener. Plus, I was just nervous,” I texted back. “I understand,” he said. Next week, he went missing. Red flag number one. Every time I texted him, he was present with the most common excuse, “Oh! I was busy, had meetings.” I stopped texting him. Three days later, his texts started flowing back. “Hey, let’s meet in the evening,” he texted. “Sure,” (I was free that evening and thought, ‘Let’s give him another chance. Maybe I’m overthinking.’) He sent me the location of his apartment with the house number. Red flag number two. “Oh, your neighbours… I think meeting at your house is not really a great idea,” I texted him back. “I don’t have neighbours on my floor,” he said. “It’s chill, you come over,” he added. I booked a cab and reached his apartment. In the elevator, I was nervous with constant hammering of, ‘Why am I doing this, why am I going to this guy’s house”, but curiosity overpowered my little feeble voice. Couple sitting in the restaurant We didn’t seem to have much in common, what about if he Began to Get Physical.... I got out of the elevator and saw him standing outside his house. I smiled and he hugged me. He was trying to get closer to me, touching my neck and hugging me repeatedly, and then one of our hugs led to kissing. I wanted to kiss him; I knew a kiss would happen. But I only wanted to kiss him. While he was kissing me, he was caressing my waist, inner thighs, and my butt. I was trying to get hold of his hands, but he was too adamant about it. He began to get physical “Do you wanna cuddle,” he asked. “Yes.” (Because I really wanted to cuddle. Just cuddle.) But he started kissing me, hard. Sliding my skirt a little up, touching my boobs. He opened his shirt and wanted me to kiss his chest. “I think we should stop. We should take things slow,” I said, “Maybe I should leave.” But nothing worked. I felt too weak to oppose him. I just wanted to get it over. “We are not going to have sex, trust me,” and that was the moment he unzipped his pants and wanted me to hold his thing. He looked at me and said, “Please.” “We should not have sex,” I said repeatedly. “Please,” he said and put on a condom on his thing. When he was done, I dressed up and left. I felt manipulated and weak. Sex and consent; both lie in a grey area. Just because I went to his apartment and wanted to kiss him, doesn’t mean I was ready to have sex with him. I wish he knew that. ©️rudatwits