Ever since my mother-in-law came to visit me and my husband, it’s been one complaint after another. First week, she said the house smells like English house. Before she retired she used to work for white people. Cook their meals and run errands for them so she said she doesn’t like the smell because they maltreated her. My husband begged me to change the air freshener, so I bought a cheaper one. The day I opened it, she asked how much I got it. I didn’t want to lie, so I said 20k. She screamed, “You want to send my son to the village o!” I ignored her but she continued. “You’re lucky you have a man like my son to take care of you and provide all your needs. Me, I suffered alone to raise my children.” One time after eating, I couldn’t finish my food, so I went to trash it so I could wash my plate. Mama saw me and started shouting: “See how you’re wasting my son’s money! Is it because it’s not your money? If you had a job, you would value things!” My husband tried to explain that I work remotely and I’m not idle or wasteful. Mama hissed and shouted; “Which yeye remote work? So pressing remote all day is work? Because that’s all she does inside—watching TV, Netfilm or whatever you people call it—while you go out every day and come back to feed her!” Now, I do content creation and crypto. I even earn more than my husband. We have a system that works for us. My hubby loves cooking and he’s better at it. Guess that’s the only good thing he inherited from his mom. So, he handles the kitchen while I shop because I can bargain better. Mama doesn’t like it. I also love good food. In fact, I’m a foodie. Anytime I stock up—bread, drinks, rice, snacks, chicken, everything—mama will squeeze her face till the following day. Yet, she’ll still open the fridge, drink malt three times a day, eat bread, and make thick tea. Tea that should last a month, she’ll finish in three days! Tea and bread, tea and pap, tea and corn, even tea and garri with egusi soup My husband will fry chicken that we’ll use to cook soup and stew, meant to last a week, mama will be picking the chicken till it finishes and washing it down with malt. If I go back to restock she’ll start grumbling and speaking language to herself Anytime I come back from the market, she’ll start her usual investigation. “How much did you buy this one?” As I’m calling the prices, she’ll be shouting and hissing until my husband pulled me aside one day. “Honey, just be diplomatic with your answers.” “You mean I should lie to your mother?” He said, “I’m not saying you should lie, but are you not tired? Just package the truth small small for peace to reign.” So I started adjusting prices for her peace of mind. When my phone started misbehaving, I got a new iPhone 15—with my own money, o! The next day, she asked how much. I told her 15k. She squeezed her face and said, “Hmm, see as you’re spending my son’s money.” Then I bought a MacBook Pro because I was tired of fixing my old one. Mama asked how much again. I told her 20k. Another face squeeze. Then I went shopping & spent over 250k on a full house restock: bag of rice, live chicken, half goat, potatoes, onions, beans, garri, drinks, beverages, detergents, everything. Mama: “How much for everything?” Me: “30k.” She squeezed her face small and took one malt and shortbread and went inside. Later, she came out, made thick tea, and carried some of the goat meat my husband fried. Now, it’s time for her to leave. She called me to the parlor and brought out 40k. “Oya, use this money to buy me iPhone 16, and that Emma Book Pro (MacBook Pro), and use the change to buy a bag of rice.” I smiled and said, “Mama, don’t worry. Your son will send it to you.” She shouted, “No! I don’t want to finish my son’s money the way you’re doing. Use my money!” Now, she says she won’t leave until I get everything for her. I can’t tell her the real amount, she’ll have a stroke. If I don’t get it, she’ll say I hate her and complain to my husband. If he doesn’t get it, she’ll say I’m the one stopping him. I’m just tired and confused. What do I do? The End Ajebo Writer ©️Kingdavid Chinaeke Ofunne