*Dreams (02.02.2025)* I don't know why, but there's a dreamy, calm, almost joyful vibe to June. And while thinking about it, I realized that how I lost my aliveness when I gave up on my dreams, very precious dreams, because of my limiting beliefs that they cannot be a part of a practical life. I felt so devoid of life - despite all the luxuries and prestige civil service offered. It always felt hollow. It is hollow. Those who work in it know it's very empty from the inside. Maybe that's why social media has been abuzz with people putting on statuses about how fancy it is. That validation from general public is probably their only joy - because it's so meaningless - so pointless from within. Many young people join to make a difference in the world (exceptions are there), only to find themselves fulfilling the dearest wishes of our politicians and facilitating elite capture. Even the honest ones are doing it because they are the executives - they are not supposed to question - they are supposed to implement. And then the prestigious postings, cars, a salary, and the power that comes from being part of the elite is hard to let go of, especially once you start getting used to it. It makes you very weak and very fearful from inside. It makes me sad for the intelligent, questioning minds, the bright and hopeful minds I experienced at CSA. I am so glad I chose my dreams. I chose peace. I chose joy. I chose my daughter over all the fanciness that just hollowed me out. Dreams are so important - they are our aliveness. May we never think they are too far from us - may we never let them go just because they are far from the reality that we see around us.