Good morning admin, I'm here to fear men of God🥹 Three years ago, after my biggest heartbreak, I decided to give my life to Christ. I realized He was the only missing piece in my life. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things are new. I prayed like never before. I fasted and joined a prayer group that would make my faith rooted in nothing else but Christ. On weekends, we went to some Forest to pray. We would usually fast, go there and pray, and later open the floor for exhortation. One of these days, a guy joined us during the exhortation period, and when it got to his turn, he delivered a message that touched everyone there. We even clapped for him—something we’d never done for anyone. He was standing next to me, so after the prayers, I engaged him. I realized there was more to learn from him, so I took his number. He was a pastor who had even traveled to Israel to seek the face of God. He said he was back in the country to start the shepherding phase of his calling. He had a small church that he invited me to. I didn’t decline. I went. It was a classroom. Small beginnings. The people there were not up to ten. Small beginnings. What I loved about the church was the ease with which they engaged with one another. I told myself, “You won’t have this in any big church.” I loved it and decided to visit often. He proposed one day after the visit. He said, “This is not part of the calling, so I won’t tell you it’s God who asked me to propose. From the flesh of my soul, I feel you’re the one. I’ve prayed about it. The aura around the prayer is well-scented. I believe that’s God’s way of telling me you’re the one who can help me build His church.” I prayed about it too. I didn’t hear yes or no. The calm in my spirit was good, so I said yes. I saw him often when we became a thing. We prayed often, we offered counseling sessions to the members, and were determined to build a church for God. One day, somehow, our fleshly demands won, and we had sex. He initiated it, and I fought off his lustful demands at first until he persisted for a while and I gave in. Admin weeks after the act, my pastor and husband to be told me I had blunted his spiritual knife and blocked his access to the heavens by sleeping with him. We’d experienced shortfalls of members in the church, which was not a new thing, but he said it was because I allowed myself to be taken that all of these things were happening. “You allowed yourself too easily. I’m a man. I’ll demand it. You, as a woman of God and my helper, should fight me off and say no, but what did you do? You handed me the apple, and now see…” Those were his exact words. I suggested we should go back to God and plead. He replied, “I can’t go back with the same weak vessel that made me fall. Let’s break up and seek our salvation individually.” Admin he has left me.😭.