I have been chatting with this guy for a long time and eventually,he invited me to his house. I needed to impress my boyfriend and to prove to him that I am an expensive and classy girl. I borrowed a wig ,koi koi shoe ,and also a skimpy gown. Then, I went to my landlord's house where I collected his wife's hand bag. Smile filled my face as I looked into the mirror. I was yummy yummy I was just too sweet,not minding the fact all the clothes were borrowed. When I reached his house,I noticed how impressed my boyfriend was. He kissed me on my cheeks and lifted me off the ground. He really wanted to eat me up at that very moment. "You are the sweetest girl in the whole world."He said as I began to blush. I was also impressed by his edifice. The house was large and well sophiscated. There was a big swimming pool and also a cinema all in one house. He took me straight to the dining room, still kissing my body and cuddling me. "I made this delicious meal for you,my baby."He said with a huge smile on his face. "What's this?I asked trying to form like a big girl. "I don't eat swallow,it's meant for village girls. Don't you have shawarma, pizza,fried rice and chicken? Oh hush,I am really disappointed at you!"I said as I tried to put on an angry face. I would have already finished the eba and soup if I was in my house. In fact, whenever I want to eat swallow, I normally tie wrapper on my chest and sit on the ground with my legs spread wide. Then, I would mould my eba in the size of a human head and would force it to pass through my throat,Iyamu! like bomb But this time was different,I needed to prove to my boyfriend that I was a classy girl who only enjoyed foreign delicacies. He went online and ordered for pizza, shawarma and chicken all at once. It took only thirty minutes for the goods to arrive at our doorstep. I was so excited to see all these delicacies on the dining table,my first time of eating shawarma. "Sweetheart,here is your pizza and shawarma.Anything else you need,just let me know okay?"He asked. I felt like a princess and was on top of the world. Then, I demanded for a fork which I was now using to eat shawarma. My boyfriend was looking at me in shock,his mouth was wide open. Suddenly,my stomach began to grumble so loudly. I was really embarrassed as a result and had to rush to the toilet. It had been like two months before I last defecated in my house. As soon as I released a mess inside this beautiful toilet,smoke filled the room. It was like though I was in a kitchen filled with firewood smoke. The only difference being that this smoke can smell for Africa. It was a powerful and poisonous mess coming out from my buttocks. My first poo in that toilet was the size of a tuber of yam. It landed inside the white container,tuvu!and the water splashed everywhere. To even get this yam shit out of my buttocks was never an easy task. If you see the veins in my face,it was terrible. I had to close my eyes and was telling myself,"Push! Push!!,Push!!!" Before the yam size poo could come out of my buttocks,it had already passed an hour. I am sure my boyfriend would be wondering if it was really to poo that I went into the toilet for,or something else. Just when I thought I was through with this WrestleMania and smack down,I realized that there was another problem,a big one at that! The shit which was the size of a tuber of yam refused to be flushed. I was pumping in the water but it didn't even move. My heart began to skip and I was gripped with fear. "If this man comes here and see this poo,it's over for me oh!"I said to myself. I was pacing around the toilet thinking of a better plan on how to handle this shit. It was then that I finally came up with a plan. "Let me carry this shit from this white container and throw it away from the window. Atleast no one will know that that such a big shit had come from my buttocks. Infact,I had already removed my wig at this point. So,I grabbed the poo from the white container,but realized that there was no nylon to wrap it with, I had no option,but to put the shit inside my wig and fire it through the window. Little did I know that the landlord was on his way to my boyfriend's house to collect his rent. The yam,sorry the poo ended up landing on the landlord's face knocking him to the ground. He let out a loud scream before felling on the ground and as soon as he reached the ground,Mr man fainted. My boyfriend heard the scream and rushed out immediately to go and check who was hurt. On getting there,he saw the landlord on the ground,he has already fainted. He did not notice my borrowed wig and the yam,sorry the poo. We had to rush the landlord to the hospital and the first thing the doctor asked was if the landlord was hit with a bomb. "This is serious.Did Boko Haram throw a bomb at your landlord's head?"He asked and we both said,"NO,SIR" "Then what could have been this powerful to throw this man overboard? This man has gone far,infact he has fainted and in his fainting,he fainted again and inside the other fainting,he still fainted. You see? The case is very complicated. But as a doctor,we will try our best to save his life."He said. Then he turned to his nurses and instructed, "Make sure you give this man, twenty injections in the morning Twenty injections in the afternoon Twenty injections in the night. Let's see if he will return from this fainting okay?" "Yes,sir"The nurses replied. This is the first time I went to a man's house,just imagine how it ended. Is it fair?😭 Please,advice me on what to do. Nobody should laugh, please