🌹IF YOU ARE A LADY 25 AND UNDER, READ THIS LIKE YOUR FUTURE DEPENDS ON IT.🌹 Hey Sis,☺️ I’ve been meaning to have this conversation with you for a long time now. It took me weeks to put this piece together, and I am happy that we’re here now. I know you’re doing your best, but I also know how overwhelming it can feel sometimes trying to balance your dreams, emotions, relationships, expectations, identity… everything. I won’t pretend to have all the answers, but if I could sit across from you and hold your hand, I’d tell you these few things I’ve picked up along the way. Some of them I learnt the hard way. Some I wish someone had told me earlier. Read them slowly with an open heart. Take what you need for now. The rest will make sense later. Here we go. ********** . 1. Don’t let anyone rush you. You are not late or behind. Even if it feels like everyone is moving, trust your pace. Life is not one straight road. Some people peak early, some blossom later. Just stay faithful with your season. . 2. Your sexuality is sacred. There’s nothing shameful about guarding your body. In fact, there is deep strength and dignity in having a clean sexual record. It protects your mind, your heart, and your future. Your body is not a commodity neither is it a reward for temporary attention. If he hasn’t made a commitment to you before God and man, he hasn’t earned access your fountain. And if you’ve already crossed that line, you are not ruined. Please read that again. You are not ruined. You can decide from today to honour your body differently. Sleep with peace, not with people.💅 . 3. Have a relationship with God that is not merely inherited. Know God for yourself, Sis. Life will throw things at you that no human being can help you with, and there are moments that will demand strength only God can give. Don’t make Him a back-up plan. Build your life on Him now before the winds come. . 4. Take your health seriously. You are not a man. Your body carries more hormonal weight. PMS, acne, mood swings, painful periods, irregular cycles all have links to what you eat. Sugar, processed foods, and constant junk will damage your system. Don’t abuse your health in your 20s and expect it to forgive you in your 40s.😒 Choose healing foods. Eat more fruits. Drink water. Reduce unnecessary oil and soda. Your skin will glow, your mind will be sharper, your womb will be happy, and your older self will thank you. . 5. The way a person makes you feel after you express your need is all the answer you need. You should not have to beg to be considered. If someone makes you feel guilty for needing love, clarity, or kindness, they are not your person. . 6. You will outgrow people, and it’s okay. It does not mean you’re proud. You are simply growing. Don’t stay in small spaces just because you feel guilty for evolving. . 7. Heal your inner child. Go back for that little girl in you who was once ignored, shouted at, touched wrongly, or made to feel unworthy. Talk to her. Sit with her pain. Let her know she is safe now. What you do not heal will continue to show up in your reactions, your choices, and your relationships. Healing does not negate what happened, but it takes control from it. . 8. You can start again. Please don’t trap yourself in what no longer serves you just because you’re afraid to begin again. If it is draining you, breaking you, or stealing your peace, walk away. Let people talk. Let them not understand. Your life is not their business. Pivot. Rebuild. Start again. Nothing is wasted, especially not your peace. It is okay to pause, change direction, and walk away from something you once thought you had to finish. . 9. Don’t be too proud to start small. Big things often begin in quiet corners. Don’t despise your small beginnings. Just be faithful and consistent. Fruit takes time. YOUTH IS YOUR ADVANTAGE.💯 . 10. Be very clear about what you owe yourself. Let me list a few for you: You owe yourself respect. You owe yourself good rest. You owe yourself growth. You owe yourself protection from what drains you. You owe yourself room to dream and space to breathe. And Girrlll! Don’t wait for someone to love you better than you’ve been loving you. . 11. If someone constantly confuses you, take a long walk. Love is not supposed to be a puzzle. When someone cares, they make it clear. Confusion is not a love language.😏 . 12. Being alone is not the same as being unloved. Solitude can be sacred. It is better to sit with silence than to sit with people who break your soul. Being alone is not a curse. Learn how to enjoy your own company. That skill will protect your future. Don’t fill your life with noise just to avoid your own silence. . 13. Character will take you further than charm ever will. Don’t just be liked. Be solid. Be someone people can trust, not just admire. Be reliable. Be kind. That’s what makes you unforgettable. . 14. Learn the art of letting go. Not everyone who starts with you will finish with you. Bless them, release them. Some people are meant for a chapter, not the whole book. . 15. You only get to be this young once. Please don’t waste this time trying to be what others expect. Use it wisely. Learn things. Travel, even if it is to the next town. Read. Volunteer. Explore. Learn a language. Start a passion project. Say yes to challenges. Say no to mediocrity. Write your thoughts down. Volunteer. Start that side hustle. Confront your habits. Ask questions. Build something…Anything. Not everything you do now has to lead to money. Some things are for building wisdom, and that wisdom will open the bigger doors later. . 16. Be careful who you let define what it means to be a ‘woman’ for you. There are loud voices out here saying a woman is only as powerful as the attention she can attract. Lies. Pretty lies. Womanhood is not how many heads you turn. It is not even your makeup, your curves, or how seductive you can be. That is noise. Real womanhood is depth, my Lady. It is wisdom. It is strength under control. Discernment. Compassion. Vision. Name it. Don’t let culture or anyone sell you anything short of this.🙅‍♀️ . 17. Your twenties are not for proving. They are for preparing. This is your foundation decade, Girl. You are not in a race. You are planting. That is what this season is. Planting. Lay your foundation well. Build skills. Make mistakes and learn. Strengthen your roots. Everyone on social media may look like they’re flying but real growth takes time. Don’t chase performance. Chase preparation instead. Your future self is counting on you. . 18. Friendship is a lifeline. Please do not go through life alone. Especially not as a woman. Life will shake you sometimes, and you’ll need people who can hold your hands and remind you of who you are. Good friends are lifelong treasures that cannot be traded for anything. Find people who challenge your mind, who don’t envy your light, who sit with your tears and your laughter. One deeply rooted friendship will do more for your soul than ten shallow circles. Choose depth over noise any day. . 19. Do not sleep on your patterns. Your habits are forming your life, whether you know it or not. If you always run when you’re corrected, shrink when you’re loved, or lash out when you’re hurt… pause. Trace it. Heal it. Or you’ll keep repeating it until it ruins something precious. . 20. Stay soft, but don’t be foolish. You can be kind and still have boundaries. You can be sweet and still say ‘enough’. Wisdom is knowing where to draw the line without hardening your heart. . 21. Learn your own name before the world renames you. If you don’t do the work of self-identification, the world will label you silly. And if you are not careful, you will live your whole life trying to be what they call you. Sit with yourself and ask who you are. What you value. What you want. What you stand for. Let that be the name you answer to. . 22. Don’t rush marriage. Be more concerned with who you marry than when. Divorce is not pretty, and marriage should be enjoyed, not endured. The right person at the wrong time is still the wrong setup. Build your life first. . 23. Financial wisdom is spiritual wisdom.💰 You need to understand money. Learn how it works, how to keep it, and how to multiply it. Save something regularly, even if it’s 500 naira. Avoid unnecessary debts. Invest in knowledge. Buy books. Learn skills. Money is not everything, but the absence of it will frustrate your peace. Also, learn how to handle small money with discipline. That is how you prepare for overflow. . 24. Your appearance is not everything, but it is significant. Take your time to learn what makes you look and feel good. You do not have to be the prettiest in the room, but be intentional. Smell good. Wear colours that flatter your complexion. Keep your nails neat. Let your clothes reflect self-respect, not pressure. Moisturise your skin. Stand tall. Speak with grace. Look like someone who loves herself. But above all, take care of your inside. Beauty on the outside is clearer when the inside is not in chaos.😚 . 25. Master one skill or a mix of skills that pay. Be good at something. Really good. So good that even if things fall apart, you’ll always have something to rebuild with. What can you do that people need? Writing. Hair. Teaching. Tech. Baking. Developing software. Fashion Design. A.I engineering. Learn something and build mastery. Money follows value. And value grows when you nurture it. . 26. Keep your mouth out of other people’s business. Gossip feels like bonding, but it is a trap. You lose credibility and plant seeds of drama that will come back to bite you in your behind. . 27. You will always be someone’s ‘not enough’. Don’t make it your truth. You will always be too loud, too quiet, too soft, too intense, too ambitious, too plain, too simplistic. That is their lens, not your identity. If you keep changing to fit everyone, you’ll lose the real you. Be grounded in who God says you are. Be enough for yourself. Did I hear you say ‘period!’?😁 . 28. Discipline will take you further than motivation ever will. Motivation comes and goes. Discipline stays. Create structure. Set routines. Do what needs to be done even when you don’t feel like it. You will go far if you do this. . 29. Learn how to say ‘no’ without guilt. Your ‘yes’ means nothing if you never use your ‘no’. Don’t stretch yourself thin just to keep people comfortable. You’re not the saviour of the world. . 30. Be honest with yourself. Always. The hardest lies to recover from are the ones we tell ourselves. Don’t pretend you’re okay when you are breaking. Call things what they are. Always tell the truth to yourself…and live accordingly. . 31. Get used to being misunderstood. Sometimes, choosing what’s right for you will make people uncomfortable. Do it anyway. Everyone doesn’t need to get it. You do. . 32. Travel light. Bitterness is a burden, Sis, and it ages the soul. Over time, it eats away at your joy. You don’t forgive people because they deserve it. You forgive so your own heart can breathe freely. Some people are not sorry, and some may never be. But you can choose to not be a prisoner of their misconduct. Forgive for your next level. Unforgiveness is dead weight. . 33. Never beg to enter any room. Work on yourself. Grow. Evolve. Become so valuable that rooms begin to request your presence. Let your work speak louder than your mouth. Let your discipline go ahead of you. When you build yourself well, access becomes a byproduct. . 34. Do not network empty. Before you start collecting business cards and DMing people to ‘connect’ ask yourself what you bring. Show up with something in your hands. Come with value. Come with results, no matter how small. People are drawn to those who are already building something. Even if you’re just starting, let your mindset be strong. Your substance is your leverage. . 35. Do not try to be the exception in someone’s life. If someone tells or gives you the impression that they are not ready for any commitment(romantic or friendship) believe them. You are not God. You are not the one special person who will fix what others couldn’t. You will lose time and joy trying to prove your worth to someone who already told you who they are. Leave with your peace intact. . 36. Learn to be proud of yourself in private. If the only time you feel seen is when people clap, you will always be performing. Learn to look at your efforts and say, ‘Well done’. Let that be enough. Let your own validation be enough. . 37. Ask better questions than ‘Do they like me?’ This life is not an audition o. You’re not here to be liked by everyone. Ask questions like: Do I even like this version of me around them? Do I feel respected here? Am I shrinking to be accepted? The quality of your questions will determine the quality of your life. Not everyone who claps for you means you well. Care more about being aligned than being liked. . 38. You do not need to experience everything. There are some mistakes that leave marks. Deep ones. Not every ‘experience’ is worth the healing and the realignment it will require. Save your heart and conserve your energy. That curiosity should be channeled productively. . 39. Love is not enough. Yes, love is sweet. But by itself, it is not enough to build something lasting. You need shared values, vision, maturity, emotional safety, honesty. Love feels good, but without the right structure, it crashes. Let love be the cherry, not the whole cake. . 40. Surround yourself with women who make you feel safe, not insecure. Sisterhood is sacred but not all female friendships are healthy. You need women who clap when you grow, not flinch. Women who can call you out in love, not jealousy. Women who do not compete, gossip, or make you feel small. Choose friends who water you. Choose friends who feel like home, not a stage. . 41. Learn how to walk away. Without chaos. Without a scene. Without begging. You do not have to throw plates, block everyone, or write a long paragraph to leave a space. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is leave quietly. Just leave. Leave with your head high and your dignity intact. Quiet exits are powerful. Use them. . 42. Give your future children a healed mother. Even if you are not thinking of children yet, start the work now. Your fears, your wounds, your insecurities don’t disappear when you have children. What you don’t deal with now will pass down like inheritance. They will seep into the way you raise, nurture, or disconnect. Let the cycle end with you. Choose healing over bitterness. Choose growth over blame. Your future child deserves a version of you that is whole. . 43. Have a strong female voice in your life. You need a woman whose wisdom is rooted in experience. Someone who has walked paths you are just discovering. Let her guide you. Let her correct you. Let her pour into you. That voice will save you from many potholes you do not need to fall into. It could be a mentor, a big sister, a spiritual guide, or even your mum. Just make sure it’s someone grounded and wise. . 44. Have a strong male voice in your life. I don’t mean a lover, please. I’m talking about a man who sees you as a sister, daughter, or protégé and not a conquest. His insight will balance you. He will teach you how real men think, how they respect, and how they lead. Keep a man in your corner who wants nothing from you but your growth. Someone who models healthy masculinity and protects your perspective of men from being shaped by pain alone. Not all love has to be romantic. Some male presences are pure covering. . 45. You are allowed to dream boldly. You are not too much and you are not being ‘too ambitious for a woman’. There is nothing holy about shrinking. Dream so big it makes your chest rise when you talk about it. Let your goals scare you a little but excite you even more. Apply yourself diligently. Show up. Compete. Create. Innovate. You are first human before you are a woman. And your gender is not a limitation. The world needs your vision too. If it is not labelled ‘Men Only’, you are allowed to walk in. And if it is, break the door down anyway.😏 . 46. Never give up your femininity. Your femininity is not something you trade in to be taken seriously. It is something you embody and elevate. The way you walk, speak, dress, and hold space… all of it can carry strength and grace at once. Carry yourself like someone who knows her worth. If you need to learn, learn. Read. Watch. Study women who carry themselves with poise and grace. Then grow into your own version of it. . 47. Love YOU. Love you enough to honour your values, your consecration, your peace. Love you enough to keep your roots growing deeper, because you know that that is the only way your tree will be grounded enough to grow huge. Love your heart when it breaks. Love your voice when it shakes. Be on your own side. This life will give you enough battles. Don’t make yourself one of them. You are not perfect, but you are worthy of love, even now. Especially now. . 48. One day, you’ll thank yourself for not settling. It is not today, but that day will come when you will look at your life, your peace, your growth, and say, ‘Thank you, girl. Thank you for choosing this hard, holy path’. You will realise that the hard decisions were the ones that saved your life. . . That’s it, Sis. There is no perfect road or a flawless life. You’ll make mistakes, you’ll outgrow people, you’ll surprise yourself. But through it all, I hope you never forget that you are allowed to grow gently. You are allowed to be a masterpiece and a work-in-progress at the same time. Keep your heart soft. Keep your head up. And never stop becoming. I’ll always be rooting for you.❤️ Let me know the numbers that jumped out at you. And of course, do well to share to reach others.🌹 ✍️Chinaza Favour