https://chat.whatsapp.com/HJJrWB9CmGzLRfik6RGXzP *Maprevious chapters anowanikwa kuchannel not kuinbox kwemunyori saka huya kuchannel dear* https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029Vb5AfX4EKyZNcqdXEb1q *😔 PAINFUL FORGIVENESS😔* _Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten_ Written by Coco🦋🖤 CHAPTER 1 *Mike* Ndakavhara book rangu rekuchikoro randaiverenga, ndainzwa senge ndanga ndasheedzwa panze. Ndakambomira kwetuma minutes ndichiti zvimwe anga andideedza angandideedze futi asi handina kuzombonzwa zita rangu richidanwa. Ndakabata book rangu futi ndichida kutovhura page yandanga ndapeta kuitira kuti ndisarasike kuti ndanga ndichivenga papi. Ndave kuda kutovhura book riya ndakanzwa zita rangu richisheedzwa futi. Ndakabva ndasiya book pasi ndanzwa kuti voice raindidana nderababa vangu. Ndakamhanya panze nekukasika. Mandiri ndaitozvituka shuwa kuti ndanga ndatadza kuzvifungawo kuti baba vangu ndivo vari kundideedza. Apa nekurwara kwavaiita ndaitoziva kuti vanga vashandisa simba ravo rese pakundidana. Ndakasvika vakangorara pachimat chandanga ndavasiya vari. Amai vangu vanga vasisipo pakastool kavanga vakambogarira. Ndakangofunga kuti zvimwe vanga vapinda mubedroom mavo. Panze paive nekamhepo kaitonhorera zvekuti pandakagara pasi, padivi radad vangu ndakabva ndatozviudza kuti handichabve panze uye paside pavo kusvikira ivo baba vave kudawo kupinda mumba. Dad..." Mike mwanangu handizive kuti ndokutenda sei nerudo rwako, chokwadi wakasiya maexams ako awanga wakutanga kunyora kuti uuye kuzoona ini baba vako nekuti ndarwara. Vakabva vatanga kukosora. Ndakatora kahandkerchief kavo kana kari paside pemusoro wavo ndichibva ndavatambidza. Vakatora nguva yakati rebei vachjkosora zvekuti ndakapedzesera ndave kuvanzwira tsitsi. Of course ndaizviziva kuti dad vangu varikurwara for the past three years, but this time zvanga zvanyanyisa kukwidza zvekusvika pakuti vanga vatove bedridden, zvekuti taitobatsirana kuvatakura kuti vamborarewo panze vafurwe nemhepo, zvese nekuvapinza mubedroom mavo. Vapedza kukosora ndakavapa mvura vakanwa ishoma vachibva vatanga kutaura futi. Apa kutaura kwacho kwaitove kwekushingirira zvako zvekuti ndaitoda kuvati vamire kutaura asi ndakazongofunga kuti ndivasiye vapedze shungu. Dad..." Shungu dzangu dzaive dzekuti upedze chikoro ugraduater uve electrical engineer sezvaunogaro shuvira kuita, asi tariro yekuti ndichazviona zvese izvi handichina. ..." Nhai dad murikuti chiiko veduwee. Asi hamusisina mari yekundiendesa kuchikoro. Ndogona kuhustler hangu ndichizviendesa, musazvi stresser hanty. Imimi musafunge zvakawanda ndokuti mukasike kupora. Plus ndikangonyora maexams ethis semester ndikapasa ndirikubva ndatoenda kuattachment saka musaware mudhara. Dad..." Mike chimbondisiyai ndipedze kutaura mwanangu. I know une mabig dreams asi zvese zvaunoshuvira zvichazoitika nenguva yazvo. Parizvino ndinoda kungokukumbira kuti uchengete vanin'ina vako Mike. Ndinoda kuti uite kuti vakwanise kubudirira, zvandakatadza ini uye zvawatadziswa iwe nekuda kwekurwara kwangu. ..." Ini matauriro enyu arikundiconfuser, why murikutaura kunge munhu arikuenda somewhere. Dad..." Mwanangu hona zvondoenda, asi mwanangu ndinongoenda nekurwara. Moyo urikuchema kuti zvondoenda unosara nani. Asi iwewe I know kuti you are responsible and you can take care of your brothers. ..." Dad nei murikutaura senge munhu arikuda kufa. Dad..." Hapana anosarudza rufu mwanangu, ende hapana anokumbira kufa. Kana nguva yaMwari yakwana hapana anoramba asi iyi inyaya yerimwe zuva tichazoitaura zvedu. For now ndinoda kuti ushandire mabrothers ako kana ndaenda mwanangu, nekuti ndinoziva kuti nerimwe ramazuva muchazochengetana. Uchengete amai vako mwanangu, ndiwe watove baba vepano. Ndinorwadziwa kuti ndiri kukusiira mutoro unorema ende wausingambokwanise kusimudza pazera rako iri asi I believe in you and I know kuti uchaita kuti family ino ibudirire. Misodzi yangu yakangotanga kuyerera soo. Hameno I felt like kutaura kwaiita mudhara was a goodbye of some sort. Ndainamata zvangu mumoyo mangu kuti baba vangu vapore, asi mashoko avaitaura aiita senge emunhu anga atoloser hope, munhu anga atozvigamuchira kuti ave kufa. Asi zvaisandiitira zvakanaka. Dad..." Haikona kuchema kaa nhai Mike, iye murume haacheme ingawani unozviziva. Zvisimbise mwanangu, murume anofanira kuita moyo wakashinga. Nekuda kwehurwere handina kuzokwanisa kukupa dzidziso yakakwana mwanangu asi ndinovimba kuti zvese zvandakakudzidzisa zvichabatsira mukurarama kwako. ..." Dad musataure muchidaro kani. Munorwadzisa moyo wangu. Munopora kani baba vangu. I know you can fight this cancer and one day muchatozotaura pamberi pevanhu mave cancer survivor. Dad..." Ishuviro yako mwanangu, asi sezvandataura paye rufu harwuna anoziva, anogona kana akashinga, inzira yedu tose. Funga all the struggles that I've been through kubva pandakabatwa iyo prostate cancer iyi. Please I want you to let me go kuti ndiwane kuzorora zvakanaka. Ndirikuda kuti undipromiser kuti uchachengeta vanin'ina vako naamai vako, please promise me Mike. Vakabva vatanga kukosora futi. Panguva yavaikosora iyoyo ndakabva ndatanga kufunga life yababa vangu zvayanga iro for the past four years. Ndinorangarira baba vachingoenda in and out of the hospital pafirst year ravakabatwa kuti vane cancer. Ivo namhamha vaitivanzira. Inini by then ndanga ndichangotanga A'level. Ndakaedza kubvunza zvaitora nzvimbo asi vese vaisada kutiudza chokwadi. Maybe vaifunga kuti zvema chemotherapy zvavanga vaudzwa zvaibva zvatopedza cancer yacho. Nekuda kwekurwara baba vangu vanga vasisakwanise kuita zvekurima izvo ndizvo zvaitovapa mari. Zvakadaro vakabva vatanga kutengesa mombe dzavo, one one. Mari yavaitengesa mombe idzi yaiva yekuti vaendesa kuhospital nekutibhadharira school fees inini nemabrothers angu. Mombe dzakatengeswa dzikasvika pakupera apa ndanga ndatove kuuniversity nekuti mombe dzacho dzaive dzakawandisa. Inini handinyatsozive kuti cancer iyi chakaita kuti ispreader chii sezvo ndakazongoita zvekuudzwa namhamha kuti dad vangu vane cancer. Chemotherapy kuti nditi haina kushanda ndinganyepe nekuti handina kunyatsopihwa explaination yakanyatsokwana asi chandinoziva ndechekuti pazvimacards zvadad zvandakazoverenga ndega ndipo pandakaona kuti cancer yavo yanga yatove palast stage. Kune vanonzwisisa nezvecancer vatonzwisisa zvandiri kuedza kureva about stage 4 iyo. Madoctors anga atotaura kuti hupenyu hapachina, tangomirira nguva yaMwari. Though vasina kutaura havo vachidaro asi mutauriro wavo wekuda kuhwanda hwanda tanga taunzwa and tanga tatombotaura nezvazvo naTawanda wandinoteedzana naye ari mupart 1 paUniversity of Zimbabwe apo pandinodzidzawo inini. Inini ndanga ndatodzoka kumba ndichisiya maexams anga ave kuda kutotanga kunyorwa nekuda kwekuti mhamha vanga vandifonera vachiti baba varwarisa. Munoziva sevanhu vatema tinoti tikanzwa kuti munhu arwara tinoti mweya yetsvina, so after pataurwa zvestage four iyi. Vamwewo vavakidzana vemuDomboshava munova matinogara, ndimo mune musha wedu saka ndimo matakakurira, vakabva vaudza mhamha kuti kurwara kwadad haisi cancer asi mweya yetsvina kana kuroyiwa. Mhamha vakabva vaudzwa kumaporofita kwekunobatsirwa uko kwavakanoudzwa kuti mweya yetsvina irikuuya in form of cancer ichida kurwisa baba vangu, vakabva vapihwa munamato yekuti mhuri yese tigeze, kubikisa zvese nekunwa kuti mweya uyu ushaye simba, nekuti zvainzi zvikabva pana baba zvinogona kuenda pane mumwe munhu wemumhuri medu. Mhuri yese takabva tatobeliever zvanga zvataurwa namadzibaba ava zvekuti takatoona kuti kana nemadoctors acho anga akatoputirwa nemweya wetsvina uyu kuti vaone senge baba vedu vave kuda kufa. Patakadzokera kuchikoro tichibva pa semester break taitoona senge baba vari kuimprover and tanga tatoudzana tese kuti baba vatopora. Pandakazofonerwa namhamha kuti baba varwarisa ende vanoda kutaura neni ndakabva ndatosiya zvese zvandaiita kuchikoro nekubva ndatouya kumba, kuri kuvhunduka kuti chiiko zvakare changa chabata baba vangu avo vandanga ndatosiya ndichiona vachiimprover pakurwara kwavo. Pathree days dzandanga ndirikumba kubva day randasvika baba vanga vasina kumbotaura neni zvakawanda wanda, asi neniwo ndaitozviona kuti baba vangu vari kurwarisa. Vanga vazofunga kundiudza iwo mazuvarodoka ezuva ranhasi. Ndakapukuta misodzi yaiyerera nematama angu, nekuda kwekufunga kwandaiita. Ndakatarisa baba vangu ndikaona vakanditarisa, nemaziso airatidza kurwadziwa. Apa vanga vawonda zvekuti maziso anga achinyatsobuda kunze kudai. Vakavavarira kusimudza ruoko rwavo vachirwuisa pamusoro perwangu. Kuita kwavo uku ndakaona kuri kwekuda kunzwa kuti ndaibvumirana nezvavaitaura here. Ndakambokwenya musoro nerumwe ruoko rwangu ndichiedza kufunga kuti ndaizozvikwanisa here zvese zvanga zvataurwa nababa. Ndakaona ndiri mwana mudiki chaizvo kuti nditambire mutoro unorema kudaro asi on the other hand, ndakaona kuti baba vangu vanga vanditruster nawo which means kuti vanga vakatotarisira ini plus ndini wavaitoona achikwanisa kuusimba. Saka nekusada kurasisa baba vangu ndakabva ndatanga kuzviudza kuti ndinozvikwanisa. Though paine kavoice kaiuya mumusoro mangu kachipikisa zvekuti ndakapedzesera ndave kutoita senge munhu anopenga ndichiita kafight mupfungwa dzangu. Ndakazongodecider ka1 nekubva ndatotanga kutaura. Ndakabva ndabatawo ruoko rwangu rwavanga vaisa pamusoro perwangu. ..." Dad I know that maybe ndogona kusazoita zvinhu semaitiro enyu asi I promise kuti ndichaedza kuita zvamareva. I know ndinogona kutadza kuzvisimudza zvese, asi zvishoma nezvishoma ndoziva zvichazoita hazvo. Dad..." Ndafara chaizvo nemashoko awandiudza. Kana ndikachienda zvangu ndinoziva kuti mhuri yangu iri mumaoko akanaka. ..." Asi kuenda kwamuri kureva muri kureva kuenda kupi nhai baba vangu. Dad..." Usazvinetse hako nekufungisisa nezvazvo. Nerimwe ramazuva ndinozokuudza. Chienda unonditorerawo mvura yekunwa mumba. ..." Regai ndikupei iripo pano. Dad..." Ayehwa enda unonditorera yemumba kani. ..." Pane iripo pano wani nhai dad. Regai ndingodira iyoyi iripadhuze munwe. Dad..." Ayehwa iyi yave kupisa, ndinoda irikutonhorera irimo mukitchen maamai vako umo. Ndakazvidirira mvura yaive panze iya ndikanwa, ndikanzwa ichitonhorera nhai. Handina hangu kuzoda kuramba ndichipikisana nharo namudhara semunhu airwara ndaisada kuti simba ravo rese ripere nekuda kwekuvataudza zvisina basa, saka ndakangosimuka ndichienda kunotora mvura kukitchen mavanga vareva. Pandakasvika padoor rekitchen, mese munongoziva kuti makitchen ekumamisha akawanda aripanze, so ndiri padoor iroro ndakacheuka ndikaona baba vangu vakanditarisa. Ndakasmiler ndikaona ivo vovavarirawo kusmiler vakanditarisa. Ndakabva ndapinda mukitchen, ndichibva ndatora chijug chihombe ndichibva ndachera mvura mubucket. Ndichibuda padoor rekitchen ndakaona baba vangu vachigwinha gwinha, zvekuti kana jug remvura randanga ndakabata ndakaridonhedza pasi ndichimhanya kuna dad vangu. Ndakangoti ndichisvika pavari vakabva vamira kugwinha vachibva vaita senge munhu atura mafemo ndivo zii vakadaro apa maziso vanga vavhara. Pandakabata ruoko rwavo ruchibva rwadonha pasi sezvinoitika mumamovies kana munhu afa, zvinhu zvese zvakabva zvangotanga kuitika seslow motion. Ndakaisa musoro wangu pachest pavo handina heartbeat yandakanzwa, asi muviri wavo waidziya hawo, hana yangu yakangotanga kurova so. Ndakangokwanisa kutaura navo nezwi riripasi pasi ndokubva ndazodeedzwa amai vangu nezwii riri pamusoro uku misodzi ichiyerera. ..." Nhai baba, imi dad vangu, imi mudhara. Ndiko kuenda kwamanga muchireva here uku. Ndiko kundioneka kwamaita here uku. Nhai mhamha!! Mhamha kani huyai muone zviri pano. Ndabayiwa panorwadza kani. Baba kani musadaro kani. Ayehwa kani kwete baba vangu vangu kani. Mhamha imi! Mhamha huyai muone zviripano. End of Chapter