A lot of women have never truly experienced what it feels like to be with a man who genuinely has his life together. And I’m not just talking about having a job or paying his own bills....that’s the bare minimum. I’m talking about a man who has *structure*, *vision*, *discipline*, and emotional *maturity*. A man who is stable in every sense of the word...mentally, emotionally, financially, spiritually. A man who doesn’t just want to “be with” a woman, but one who’s actively building a life and knows exactly where she fits into it. The truth is... so many women have carried the weight for so long, they don’t even realize they’re tired. They’ve been providers. They’ve had their own apartments. Their own cars. They’ve managed bills, raised kids, and still showed up in relationships with more patience, consistency, and love than they were ever given. Some of them have *never* known what it feels like to move into a home a man prepared for them... or to drive his car because he wanted to make *her* morning easier. They’ve never had the luxury of simply being taken care of, without it being used as leverage or thrown in their face later. Too many women are used to being the adult in relationships with men who only know how to drain them. She’s the one keeping the house together, managing the schedules, calming the storms, handling the responsibilities. And let’s be honest...a lot of men can’t even be bothered to take out the trash without being asked three times. Let alone protect, provide, and *lead*. So when a woman says she’s independent, strong, or doesn’t “need” a man, it’s not always out of pride....it’s out of *survival*. It’s because she’s learned that depending on the wrong man can cost her peace, progress, and years of her life she can’t get back. She’s learned to be self-sufficient because the men she’s encountered have been more interested in *using* her than building with her. They want access to her body, her energy, her loyalty... but they come with nothing but excuses and expectations in return. And yet, behind all that independence, so many women are craving safety. They’re craving rest. Not because they’re lazy....but because they’re *exhausted*. They want to experience what it feels like to *trust* someone else to lead for once. To know that if they fall apart, someone will catch them. That they don’t always have to be the strong one, the planner, the provider, the fixer. They want to experience love that doesn’t ask them to shrink, but invites them to *exhale.* So if you’re one of those women....know this: You’re not wrong for wanting more. You’re not “too much” for desiring a partner who has himself together. You’ve just been carrying too many people who never deserved your strength to begin with. There *are* men who will take care of you without conditions. Who will treat you as precious instead of replaceable. Who will protect your peace instead of disturb it. And when you find one... you’ll finally understand that being soft doesn’t make you weak. It just means you’re *safe. > AnkundaOmunyankore counsellor love square